The Etiquette of the High Quality "NO" (and My Favorite Mascara)
Before this week's post begins, be sure to check out my video where I show you My Favorite Mascara, Chanel Inimitable Intense. If you are unable to see the embedded video, click here, look in the sidebar of this blog, or visit my channel: www.youtube.com/TheDailyConnoisseur
And now for this week's post on Etiquette:
The Etiquette of The High Quality No
The other day I was in the grocery store with my daughter. It was close to dinnertime and I had a few things in my basket. I was placing the items on the conveyor belt to pay when a lady in yoga pants came up from behind me and asked if she could go in front of me because she only had one item to pay for. I looked at her, then I looked at my daughter, then I looked at my very pregnant belly and was absolutely appalled that she would even ask such a question.
Yes, the etiquette stickler in me was horrified that she would ask to go in front of a pregnant lady. In my head I had a lot of responses I wanted to say to her that were not very ladylike. Clearly this woman thought her time was more valuable than mine. But I remembered my stance on always taking the high road and decided to avoid any confrontation.
I think I was at such a loss for words, I just said, “OK”, and let her walk in front of me. She then proceeded to pay for her item but because she didn’t have her club card, took several minutes filling out a form for one. By this time my blood was boiling and I chided myself for not giving her a ‘high quality no’.
I first learned about the high quality no from the philosopher Eckhart Tolle. He says there is absolutely nothing wrong with saying no. That no is a perfectly acceptable response to any question. The key is to say the no without anger, judgment, apologies or negative energy.
A high quality no requires no further explanation and if I were to go back in time to deal with that lady again I would simply have said, “No”, and went on with paying for my groceries. I didn’t need to tell her that I was tired, it was almost dinner time, my daughter was hungry, we had to walk home and I was pregnant to boot! I simply needed to say “No” because it was my prerogative to do so.
So as we navigate this tricky world of etiquette and high quality living, let us embrace the high quality no and not commit to doing anything that we don’t feel comfortable with.
Blog and Book News
This past weekend I was featured on Rayna St. Pierre's wonderful blog, Bright Copper Kettles in an author interview. The interview discusses everything from interiors to morning rituals to culture! To see the interview click here.
Until next time I would love to know… how are you at saying “no”?
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