Don't Make Assumptions
Our Four Agreements book club continues this week as we discuss the third agreement: don't make assumptions. This week's video shares a few personal anecdotes, including an assumption made by a Daily Connoisseur reader and the events that ensued. To check out this week's video, watch it above, click here, or visit my channel: www.youtube.com/TheDailyConnoisseur
Here are some favorite quotes from this chapter:
We make assumptions about what others are doing or thinking— we take it personally— then we blame them and react by sending emotional poison with our word. p. 63-64
Do you see how all of the agreements are linked? Once one agreement is broken it is easy for a snowball effect to occur in which all agreements are broken (as you'll see in this week's video).
We make an assumption, we misunderstand, we take it personally, and we end up creating a whole big drama for nothing. p. 64
Whenever any drama is going on in your life, ask yourself if you've made any assumptions. When you are in the thick of the drama, it seems very serious and important. Then looking back at it down the line, it seems so silly. These dramas can largely be avoided by not making assumptions.
We have the habit of dreaming with no basis in reality. We literally dream things up in our imaginations. p. 65
Remember what Don Miguel Ruiz said about how we believe lies as truth? Making an incorrect assumption is believing a lie and taking it as reality.
For example, I receive a lot of emails and private messages everyday from readers. I love to get them. I read them all and treasure each one. Because of the large volume of emails I receive I rarely am able to respond to them. I always hope that the person who has sent the email does not make the assumption that I don't care about them because I have not responded when quite the opposite is true.
We make the assumption that everyone sees life the way we do. p. 69
I find this to be very true for relationships. Sometimes (OK a lot of the time) men and women have a hard time living together in the same space because they see life very differently. The man might want the television in the bedroom and the woman could think of nothing worse. The woman might like the bed to be piled with pillows and the man might prefer one pillow per person. A woman might expect to engage in a meaningful conversation with her husband at the end of the day and her husband might want to quietly watch the football game. Not everyone sees life the way we do and it helps to remind yourself of that, especially when dealing with relationships.
For much more on this topic, I hope you'll watch this week's video, Don't Make Assumptions.
I'm really enjoying your comments on these agreements. Please let me know this week what your experience is with making assumptions. Do you have any anecdotes to share? Any tips or tricks? Let me know in the comments section, tweet me or write on my facebook wall. I love to hear from you!
Lessons from Madame Chic got a mention in Newsweek this past week in an article called Learning Out À La Francaise.
See you next week when we discuss the final agreement: Always Do Your Best (my favorite!)
Visit my Author Website
Like my Facebook Page
Follow me on Twitter
Sign up for my Seasonal Author Newsletter