tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7682312585713348709.post3384706529334155532..comments2024-03-28T04:17:20.834-07:00Comments on The Daily Connoisseur: Cellphone Etiquette and Screen Addiction DiscussionThe Daily Connoisseurhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13843902889491327636noreply@blogger.comBlogger43125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7682312585713348709.post-29387118773615719052016-05-10T07:52:21.395-07:002016-05-10T07:52:21.395-07:00I'm so glad you are talking about this topic. ...I'm so glad you are talking about this topic. It is so encouraging to hear it addressed, and to read the comments from other people who agree! I have noticed that if I am looking down at my phone for too long, my ONE year old notices. It is definitely a wake up call, and like you said, it is heartbreaking. I feel rude looking at my phone in public, in most situations. I actually think I struggle most with it at home. It drives me nuts seeing other people on a plane or waiting for their food at a restaurant, staring into their devices. I think learning to sit through awkward or quiet moments is such a lost art these days. But we miss so much! I am definitely going to be more aware of my cell phone usage, especially around our children. I want to set the best example for them because addiction, in any form, doesn't feel good.Jenny@JenericGenerationhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09052071494494085203noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7682312585713348709.post-7503509438189714762016-05-10T04:55:31.249-07:002016-05-10T04:55:31.249-07:00Yes, Jennifer, absolutely yes. We all use our smar...Yes, Jennifer, absolutely yes. We all use our smart phones and devices too much and are not mindful of the moment. Mindfulness, I think, is the key word to remember in cell phone use. <br /><br />I wanted to share not a story of a bad experience with cell phones, but a happy story of an app that has added beauty and culture and mindfulness to my life. I'm sure others already know of the free app Librivox. If not, please check it out. I have been using it to listen to free classic audio books while I walk in the neighborhood, clean my kitchen, or prepare dinner while my kids are studying or playing. I've listened to "Pilgrim's Progress," "Uncle Tom's Cabin," "Pride and Prejudice," and am currently listening to "Jane Eyre." It's such a beautiful way to add culture into my busy life. It allows me more time to enjoy these masterpieces than if I were to sit down to read them. Did I mention that it's free? Of course, I do not listen to them while I'm with my family or others. <br /><br />Thank you for your blog. Margeryhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09410008315800723080noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7682312585713348709.post-11346380013951594812016-05-09T14:25:46.752-07:002016-05-09T14:25:46.752-07:00Thank you for confronting this, both in yourself a...Thank you for confronting this, both in yourself and in others. I think anyone with a smart phone or tablet has to admit, they have a bit of this. It is just so easy to do! Thus, the snag and later the obsession. I have this too and your courageous confrontation on this subject is the kick in the rear I needed to work on it and spend more time in real time with my family and friends. <br /><br />Thank you again for all you do. Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11443173497685878931noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7682312585713348709.post-36002760639366773512016-05-09T06:56:56.367-07:002016-05-09T06:56:56.367-07:00This comment has been removed by the author.Lilyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17002457380456866092noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7682312585713348709.post-89577142279903325062016-05-09T02:58:41.250-07:002016-05-09T02:58:41.250-07:00We provide you modern woman magazine with the late...We provide you <a href="http://ourfrontcover.com/onlinemagazine/fashion-lifestyle/" rel="nofollow">modern woman magazine</a> with the latest Articles and news from the Our Frontcover Magazine.Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07082136168419654203noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7682312585713348709.post-23905201543208051062016-05-08T02:14:36.513-07:002016-05-08T02:14:36.513-07:00When people actively defend negative behaviours I ...When people actively defend negative behaviours I see a red flag to be concerned.<br /><br />Jennifer and other art aficionados: cell phone addiction has been brilliantly portrayed by Antoine Geiger http://www.pissarro.net/Antoine-Geiger-1995-SUR-FAKE-DesktopDefault.aspx?tabid=6&tabindex=5&objectid=717098&categoryid=16417<br /><br />and Eric Pickersgill http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-3270660/Communication-problems-Photographer-removes-mobile-phones-images-couples-families-expose-just-addicted-technology-become.htmlRosehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14751315680374413649noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7682312585713348709.post-75199435669695951462016-05-07T07:12:17.424-07:002016-05-07T07:12:17.424-07:00For the most part I think that you are absolutely ...For the most part I think that you are absolutely right about the overuse of devices as a crutch in our present day society.<br /><br />However, as a professional who works with children on the autism spectrum, I wish to point out that their of people in our world who would not be able to mentally or physically cope with riding public transport or sitting in a restaurant without the stress-relief and engagement offered by a tablet/iPad. Literally, there would be entire families who wouldn't be able to go to restaurant or a performance, visit parks or even sit in church.<br /><br />I love and appreciate what you do here, Jennifer, I just wanted to share with our community here on your blog that forgiving the presence of a screen may be the most mannerly thing of all - as sometimes there's more to a situation than meets the eye.Sylviehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11734800821444212935noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7682312585713348709.post-64301735484085418892016-05-06T20:27:45.464-07:002016-05-06T20:27:45.464-07:00You may laugh, but we play the game at dinner time...You may laugh, but we play the game at dinner time 'that the Queen is at the table with us'. I played it with my parents growing up and now my children relish it too (age 7 and 5). They giggle when they burp or put their feet on the table in jest or when they spill something: "What would the Queen think?!". I love that she is always with us and that the children inherently know their good manners, whether they choose to practise them or not! Personally I choose to practise what I preach and avoid my phone/computer when the children are around - it definitely helps even though it may be hard at times. We are the role models so there is not much point in complaining about our children's addiction when we tend to encourage it for our own peace: our rule is movie night on Friday and screen time for one hour on Saturday and Sunday. Art / creativity is an obligation & pleasure every other day. <br />PS I love your blog and books - my guilty pleasure when the children have fallen asleep :-)JennieJenhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12185897516865556799noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7682312585713348709.post-56284048231784170942016-05-06T15:55:50.180-07:002016-05-06T15:55:50.180-07:00I just read the comment above about books being ju...I just read the comment above about books being just as bad for posture as screens are. I've had children's parents say the same thing. I think the problem is the amount of time we spend in that posture. Unfortunately, you will see children using devices much, much longer than they will read a book. But yes, if you or your child truly spend hours and hours sitting in a slumped posture reading a book, that would also need some correction in my opinion!Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12386488051399787515noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7682312585713348709.post-42525959404673884752016-05-06T11:01:47.380-07:002016-05-06T11:01:47.380-07:00Thank you for raising this issue! I believe screen...Thank you for raising this issue! I believe screen addiction is starting to affect many of my friends and family, including myself. I recently posted an image stating "Live In The Moment" on my Facebook and Instagram as well as my intention to abstain from these social media outlets for the month of May. So far, it has been a great experience! I remember what life was like before social media. I have been keeping up on my journal and reading more. Life can be full of wonder and amazement but my phone screen was keeping me in my own little cocoon. <br /><br />P.S. I loved your books! Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7682312585713348709.post-7768873148236331602016-05-06T03:24:23.246-07:002016-05-06T03:24:23.246-07:00Screens vs paper @ restaurants -
Usually when kid...Screens vs paper @ restaurants - <br />Usually when kids are coloring or writing on paper they are very reachable, as someone else stated. On the screen, whether they are playing or socializing, they are usually unreachable to the people present. <br />Usually. Not always. <br /><br />I have read several articles over the last few years about the real, physiological addiction and the brain chemistry concerning electronic games and computers. The symptoms are similar to that of drug addiction where taking the 'drug' away causes withdrawal, denial, guilt and physical illness! It's worse for kids. There are programs and safehouse-type institutions to help addicts!<br /><br />We keep our kids screen time down to once a week and are very choosy about the games. I have seen the addiction begin first hand in one of my children as his behavior dramatically changed. This is a serious issue. <br /><br />Screen vs paper books - <br />I don't think anyone here would judge you for reading on Kindle, checking email, playing a game or using social media, just as we would not judge if you were reading a book. <br />It's more about when you do these things and whether it's keeping you from living life or spending time with humans. <br />If you wouldn't pull out a novel on a date, you shouldn't pull out a kindle book or other screen activity. <br /><br />I am a big reader. When we first married my husband asked me to please choose more carefully when I read, as he felt excluded from my presence when I was engrossed. It's much like many of us may have felt when our elders were hidden behind newspapers when we were young. I had to choose times to read when it would not keep us from connecting. <br />We struggle now with keeping the phones in their place for the same reason, but it's even harder given our propensity for addiction to instant info or shopping or beating the next level. AquinoFamily99https://www.blogger.com/profile/11142076057635654922noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7682312585713348709.post-43474557934378870252016-05-05T17:35:25.887-07:002016-05-05T17:35:25.887-07:00I agree with everything said here, but I'd lik...I agree with everything said here, but I'd like to add a couple of counterpoints:<br /><br />1) My father in law reads 2 physical newspapers every day. Recently, when we were at his house, he read the paper during our conversation with him. Later, he said "you all are always on your phones!" I said, you read 2 newspapers while you speak to us, I read my phone... my phone is basically a newspaper, but everything on it happens now, instead of yesterday!<br /><br />2) This morning on the El, I saw 4 people reading books (not Kindles - real books) and as many people on their phones. The arguments that "people are going to have back problems from hunching over their phones" and "nobody pays attention to others around them, because they're on their phones" could also apply to people reading books. (And how do you know I'm not reading a book on my phone?) And yet, we don't say, "look at all these people READING BOOKS and not being present in the world around them!" <br /><br />I agree phone usage can be very rude in some settings, but I think some people get bent out of shape about phones especially, forgetting that there have always been ways to ignore others. <br />Mrs LJhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16775977262232273980noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7682312585713348709.post-62565034229225917272016-05-05T17:29:12.779-07:002016-05-05T17:29:12.779-07:00This piece about Sherry Turkle, author of Reclaimi...This piece about Sherry Turkle, author of Reclaiming Conversation: The Power of Talk in a Digital Age is relevant to the topic here.<br />http://www.theatlantic.com/magazine/archive/2014/01/the-eavesdropper/355727/<br /><br />In many ways what she says gets to the crux of things...it is not that technology is bad, or looking at a phone over dinner is bad, it is about our relationships with one another.<br /><br />What is more valuable to us? our relationship to our devices, or our relationships to our family, friends, and the natural world? Are you a skilled conversationalist? Can you tell a good story? A good joke? Entertain a crowd with your singing or guitar playing? Host a fun dinner party? What skills can you share with others? What are you good at? What are you known for? Do you know the best hiking and picnic spots in your community? Are you a whiz at Pictionary? Social media has its place, but nothing beats real life!Evalinehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12820455386922167585noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7682312585713348709.post-29367384314022186612016-05-05T05:01:17.317-07:002016-05-05T05:01:17.317-07:00Excellent discussion, Jennifer! Readers may be in...Excellent discussion, Jennifer! Readers may be interested in Dr. Kathy Koch's book Screens and Teens: Connecting with Our Kids in a Wireless World, full of wisdom on the topic and very applicable even for younger children.Nancyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00369364641564363573noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7682312585713348709.post-49576669236227140172016-05-05T03:52:09.632-07:002016-05-05T03:52:09.632-07:00Hi, Jennifer, I really enjoy your website and your...Hi, Jennifer, I really enjoy your website and your books. This morning I happened upon a study that says 50% of teens are addicted to their cell phones and the consequences of that. I thought you might like to see it. Here is the link: http://getschooled.blog.myajc.com/2016/05/03/new-report-one-out-of-every-two-teens-addicted-to-smartphone/JanElisehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16833063351016601433noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7682312585713348709.post-84610950038639094542016-05-04T19:25:08.612-07:002016-05-04T19:25:08.612-07:00Funny story on this one - my boyfriend and I have ...Funny story on this one - my boyfriend and I have a strict no-phone policy on dates unless we're in a lively debate and need it for fact checking. Once, we were out to dinner for his birthday with another couple we like to go out with. I was on my phone texting quite a bit that evening - because I was orchestrating a surprise party for him when we got home, and the guests were starting to arrive at the house to set it up! I was relaying instructions for setting up the party refreshments and entertainment, and not being very discrete about it. <br />I'm not used to balancing conversation and subtle phone use...so he completely knew something strange was going on. He even tried a few times to hint to me that I was being rude. I actually had to pretend to be oblivious to his hints. The other couple we were with knew what was going on, and were trying not to laugh. Luckily when we got home, the rudeness with the phone was explained when 20 + people were there to surprise him. <br /><br />Usually I make an effort to keep the phone out of sight. Sometimes I have the bad habit of using it as a crutch during socially awkward situations. So I guess if you ever see me texting at dinner I'm either feeling very awkward, or you're in for a big surprise.<br /><br />Lillianhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05109874472635300574noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7682312585713348709.post-29936330898466838742016-05-04T18:08:37.645-07:002016-05-04T18:08:37.645-07:00My husband and I go out to dinner once a week. Nu...My husband and I go out to dinner once a week. Numerous times, we have seen couples sit down at a table and immediately check their phones -- sometimes at length. I think that if I were out with someone who had their face planted in their phone, I would get up from the table, as if I were going to the ladies room, and just leave. (It helps considerably if <i>you</i> were the one who drove, or if you met there.) Who wants to be a third wheel with a <i>phone</i>? Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7682312585713348709.post-8536786193115549872016-05-04T16:20:52.042-07:002016-05-04T16:20:52.042-07:00Dear Jennifer,
Thank you for this video. I couldn...Dear Jennifer,<br /><br />Thank you for this video. I couldn't agree with you more on this topic. In addition to being rude, constant use of smart phones and tablets is horrible for posture. I am a physical therapist and have seen both adults and children (which is disturbing) for treatment of neck pain. When using devices, we should make sure to limit our time looking down and consider elevating the screen to eye level to take stress off of the spine.<br /><br />KimberlyAnonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12386488051399787515noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7682312585713348709.post-10061832022757469642016-05-04T15:39:56.781-07:002016-05-04T15:39:56.781-07:00Your point is well taken. I wonder what you would ...Your point is well taken. I wonder what you would think if you saw me sitting at a table and staring at my phone. I have a kindle app, and read books from my phone when I'm away from home. It keeps me from having to carry them around. Would you judge me differently if I was reading a book made from paper?<br /><br />Robin Bhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13991669781883433413noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7682312585713348709.post-67484709759240444552016-05-04T11:22:12.167-07:002016-05-04T11:22:12.167-07:00Your books are extremely inspiring. I can't...Your books are extremely inspiring. I can't wait to get my hands on the third book. I usually buy ebooks because I want to avoid too much clutter but I feel that I have to have a paper version for the reference in this case. I'm so glad we will soon have a Polish version of the third book. Anna Mirońskahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13166712473427248592noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7682312585713348709.post-47943634230916386252016-05-04T08:10:38.237-07:002016-05-04T08:10:38.237-07:00I was just thinking that I'm certainly not per...I was just thinking that I'm certainly not perfect either because I have used the internet a couple of times, used my cell phone, and I watched a movie this week. Certainly not screen free for me. However at least it's less screen week! :)<br />Patriciahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17313775162847796584noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7682312585713348709.post-76968179503533017112016-05-04T08:07:13.423-07:002016-05-04T08:07:13.423-07:00Although I do have a smart phone, I do not feel ad...Although I do have a smart phone, I do not feel addicted to it or to Facebook or anything else. I guess I'm lucky that way. It might be because I am 49 and I didn't grow up with all of this technology! I like having my cell phone with me to stay connected with my children, ages 15 and 16; it has helped on many occasions. We don't allow screens at the dinner table and my kids seem okay with it, although my son occasionally sneaks it in!<br /><br />With regards to your Patti Lupone story, I remember hearing a similar story about Katherine Hepburn stopping in the middle of a play she was performing in because someone was talking on a cell phone. This was a long time ago, most likely before smart phones. I remember hearing this on the news although I can't remember what year it might have been.<br /><br />Someone commented that children being on a screen at a restaurant is the same as doing an activity page or drawing and coloring. I disagree with this for a couple of reasons. First, being creative and interactive by drawing or playing a game with a sibling is so different from being more passive while watching something on a screen. I guess you could argue that the child the child is playing a game. In my opinion (I am a parent and a teacher of young children) children are on screens entirely too much.<br />Second, I have been at restaurants where the children are watching a cartoon or playing a loud game. This bothers me so much and is so rude to the people sitting at nearby tables who are trying to eat a nice meal.<br /><br />It is interesting that you chose this topic at this time, Jennifer! It is screen-free week at our school. Children and parents are encouraged to stay away from screens for the week and "Look up and look around". Go outside, read a book, play a game with your family. I don't know if this is a national thing or not but it's a great idea.Patriciahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17313775162847796584noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7682312585713348709.post-8534956141585117412016-05-04T01:16:44.502-07:002016-05-04T01:16:44.502-07:00I am very excited for the Polish edition of your b...I am very excited for the Polish edition of your book.<br />I am waiting although I read the original;)wildnettlehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00127102228279039384noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7682312585713348709.post-90493156188122537432016-05-03T16:40:04.981-07:002016-05-03T16:40:04.981-07:00Thanks for this, Jennifer. Devices of any kind are...Thanks for this, Jennifer. Devices of any kind are creating safety issues as well. Car accident Stats vary, but it is safe to say that a very large percentage are caused by drivers distracted by their devices.<br /><br />I commute 3 hours a day to get to work and back. It is horrific to see the number of people playing games on their phones while walking in a crowded train station or sidewalk.<br /><br />I use a simple flip phone only when I am not near a land line. Works for me.<br /><br />A note to parents...my parents had 6 kids...we were never allowed to read anything at the table ...we ate almost all our meals together and told stories and jokes and talked about our day and current events. We did this every day, at home and at restaurants, with or without guests. It was fun!!! Really, really fun!Evalinehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12820455386922167585noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7682312585713348709.post-827561295528641302016-05-03T11:24:10.321-07:002016-05-03T11:24:10.321-07:00Ack! Jennifer and Sara, I can only imagine the fr...Ack! Jennifer and Sara, I can only imagine the frustration, being at your daughters' recitals and having glowing screens around you! Yes, I'd say something to the users of those phones, if their seats were close by. We go to the opera and to many plays, and smartphone usage must've gotten to be a big problem, because before performances, there is always an announcement to turn off our phones. At the opera, an usher will definitely chastise anyone who pulls out a phone. And heaven forfend if you forget to silence your phone and it rings - everyone around you will turn and glare and even voice their disapproval! <br /><br />Our sixteen-year-old son has never been allowed to pull out his smartphone during meals, either at home or out. We have very good, close friends, though, who have a son the same age as ours, and they don't monitor his screen usage when we're at/out to dinner together. My son will be sitting right next to or across from him, and this young man is completely oblivious to him. They've known each other since birth; it's not like they have nothing to talk about or nothing in common. Really annoys me! It's just plain rude. Fortunately, my son will join in conversation with everyone else at the table. <br /><br />We live right across from a park. It's really sad to see parents and caregivers just let their children loose, and then pull out their phones, completely ignoring the little ones. I worry for their safety. And what kind of message does that send to the kids? At their young ages, they won't quite realize that apparently whatever is on the phone isn't as important as they are, but they'll "get it" when they're older. If it's going on in public, it most certainly is at home. I almost feel that these children are, out of the box, starting off life with a huge disadvantage. <br /><br /><br /> zephyrhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03268377497078102799noreply@blogger.com