A Glow Up After 40 | The Inner Work

 

A Glow Up after 40... today we are discussing some of the inner work needed.

Welcome back to The Daily Connoisseur. In Part one on the Glow Up process, we focused on the outer work... how to look good. In today's video we are going to look at a few key aspects to having an inner glow up. This is in no way a comprehensive list. I am only sharing 5 points today. 

A glow up is a mental, physical, and emotional transformation for the better. In part one we talked about some of the key points to a glow up regarding looking good. Today, let’s discuss the inner work involved in a glow up because it’s vastly more important. 

This is not a comprehensive list... these are just 5 points on a very long list of inner work that must take place. I can do a part 2 if you'd like to hear more... 

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⚜️ Mentioned in the video Atomic Habits by James Clear Mother Culture by Karen Andreola Myka Meier Modern Etiquette Made Easy The Prime of Miss Jean Brodie

1. Individuality  Who are you? Did you know that you are totally unique? As humans we are in some ways all the same: for example, we all have a nose. But we each have a unique nose that is not replicated on anyone else. We all have different fingerprints. We have different lines on our face. Our eyes are different colors. What makes us laugh is different. We are attracted to different things. We probably all like music, but the music we like is different. Who are you? What is your unique stamp on the world? Many women who reach their 40s find themselves having suppressed their individuality over the past few decades… whether it was to fit in at work, or with other moms, or with your family. How can you express your individuality? If you have lost your individuality, it might be time to look for it again. 

 2. Confidence  I can confidently say that confidence comes with age. As a chronic people-pleaser and introvert, I struggled with confidence in my 20s, and even 30s. When you hit 40, you begin to realize that sometimes no matter what you do, someone isn’t going to like you. Or they will have a problem with you. You realize that you have nothing to do with that. In the past, you might have done backbends to please other people and really tried hard to make them like you. When you turn 40, you just accept: this is who I am. I am confident in that. People are not going to like me and that’s ok. I’m not catering to that percentage of people in my life. I’m going to unapologetically be who I am going to be. Here is another key to remember: all the mistakes, rejections, and failures in your life actually help you! They build on your confidence. How? You learn from them. 

3. Passion This goes hand-in-hand with individuality. You might have squashed your passions over the past decade or more while looking after other people and getting established in life with your home and work. Now you’re probably still looking after other people, because that doesn’t ever change, but you have a little space to breathe. Or you just came out of a breakdown and realized you don’t do anything you’re passionate about anymore. You used to play the piano, or the guitar, or the harp. You used to sing in the choir. You used to paint. You loved painting. You used to read more. You used to write poetry. You used to dance. You used to laugh. Now it’s just working and paying bills, and cooking dinner, and folding laundry and the flame of your passions feels extinguished. Well, it’s time to get that back. In The Prime of Miss Jean Brodie, Jean Brodie declares on her 40th birthday that she is "entering her prime". 

4. Compassion Having compassion and grace for people who think and do things differently from you is an integral part of having a glow up. Kindness and compassion perhaps go farther than anything you can do internally. 

 5. Ambition Ambition is a strong desire to do or to achieve something, typically requiring determination and hard work. This is not to be confused with having work ambition…. Getting to the top of your profession. If that’s what you want to do, that’s totally fine. I have aspirations for that myself. But ambition can be anything from, wanting to be the top lawyer in your firm, to living a slow and intentional debt-free life off grid. Do you see what I mean? It’s going to look different for everyone and that’s ok. What are your goals? Do you have ambitions? Your ambition could be to homeschool your kids and give it your absolute best. Your ambition might be to write a book in your spare time and get it published one day. Your ambition might be to read 7 novels next year. Or to start walking every day. What is your ambition? And how are you going to achieve it? 

Thank you to Skillshare for bringing us today's video. 

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Comment of the Week

Selene writes, "Good morning Jennifer, it’s true the most important thing is to be together, I always used to worry about the food, the drinks, will the guests like it, it was very stressful, I’m starting to just be more relaxed about it, thank you for sharing."

Hi Selene, I know a lot of people don't entertain in their home because they worry about too many details. I'm glad Monday's video inspired you to try again!

I hope you enjoyed today's video on the glow up process. I would love to hear from you. Did any of these points resonate with you? Let us know and your comment could be chosen as comment of the week on the blog.

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