Showing posts with label lifestyle. Show all posts
Showing posts with label lifestyle. Show all posts

12.03.2012

Look Presentable Always

11:11 AM 12 Comments


Looking presentable always. A concept that may seem obvious to many people, but is something I think we as a society desperately need to discuss.

Looking presentable on a daily basis may initially seem like a shallow and superficial concept, but really it is about so much more than appearances. It's about respect. It's about tradition. It's about honoring formalities that seem to be going by the wayside.

We've all seen people at the airport walking around in their pajamas. Or worse yet we've seen people wearing jeans and tennis shoes (or worse) to dressy events. When I see these things I am always reminded of my favorite film stars from the 30s and 40s like Cary Grant and Audrey Hepburn. What on earth would they think? They lived in a time when people used to dress beautifully for everything from airplane travel to running an errand at the corner store.

To hear more of my thoughts on the subject, check out this week's video. If you are unable to see the embedded video, click here, look in the sidebar of this blog, or visit my channel: www.youtube.com/TheDailyConnoisseur

This week I would love to know... what are your thoughts on looking presentable always?

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3.14.2011

Cultivate an Air of Mystery Part II

5:00 PM 23 Comments


Before this week's post begins, I would like to send my hope and prayers to the people of Japan. If you are looking for a way to help (and are in America) you can text REDCROSS to 90999 and $10 will automatically be donated from your phone bill and go towards the relief effort in Japan...

And now for this week's post...

In my ongoing quest to not tell every person I come in contact with my life story (i.e. cultivating an air of mystery), I have been doing a lot of experimenting. Every day is an opportunity to cultivate an air of mystery and for me it really does take daily practice. One must become comfortable with silence when amongst other people, and learn how to cope with it- in a way that is specific for you.

There is a neighbor of mine who is quite mysterious that travels a lot and is often out of town. He has his air of mystery mastered because whenever I see him he alludes to his travels but does not tell me what he does for a living (and, as the French do, I would never think to ask). But inevitably when he asks me how I am I say something lame and unmysterious and laugh shrilly. Not because I am interested in him particularly, but because this is what I do with everybody. It is a malady of mine.

So one day I decided to practice cultivating my air of mystery with my mysterious neighbor. I saw him while I was taking Gatsby out for his morning walk. I had the baby strapped to my chest in the Baby Bjorn, and Gatsby on his leash. It had been a particularly long night of not sleeping with the baby (teething) so I employed one of my techniques of ‘looking presentable always’ by putting a long coat over my pajamas. I must have looked silly because it was about 80 degrees outside and there I was in a winter coat complete with baby and dog- but never mind. At least I wasn’t in my pajamas.

This is how our conversation went:

“Hello,” said the mysterious neighbor (from here on out known as MN)
“Hello”, said I (from here on out known as DC for daily connoisseur)
MN: “How are you?”
DC: “I’m great, thank you. How are you?”
MN: “Life is treating me well. And you are you happy?”
DC: “Yes, very. I haven’t seen you recently, you must have been traveling”.
MN: “I have. Doing a lot of traveling and a lot of work”.
DC: “How wonderful. It was lovely to see you”.
MN: “And you”.
DC: “Good bye”.

Now keep in mind this conversation was peppered with looonnng pauses- which was excruciating for me. But I stuck with it and was rather pleased with the result. Nothing of substance was said, but in these particular circumstances, things of substance aren’t generally said anyway. I have a close circle of friends who know my life story and day to day occurrences, and with whom I can have substantial conversations with, but for relative strangers and passers-by (like my neighbor), I would like to remain mysterious.

That’s why this exercise was very important for me. Normally at the first sign of silence I would have laughed shrilly (i.e. uncomfortably) and said something to my neighbor about the weather or apologized for my appearance or made a joke about how the baby is teething and I am a zombie on 4 hours of sleep. But I just stayed with it. Good for me…

I would love to know… how is your air of mystery coming along?



The folded arm figures pictured above date back to 2,700 B.C. and are quite mysterious in their own right. Scholars have conjectured they could represent everything from concubines, to ritual dancers, to goddesses and symbols of fertility. They are featured at the Getty Villa in Malibu.

3.07.2011

By Request: Quality Wardrobe- How much to Spend

5:03 PM 11 Comments


This post comes by request from Shelley, who writes:

I know that quality over quantity is the way to a French woman's wardrobe. You read in loads of places about spending the most you can afford on various pieces. My question is, how do you decide how much you can afford? All your savings? What's left at the end of the month? A portion of your clothing allowance? How does one set the clothing allowance and how does one decide what proportion of it will go for a given piece? I think this is important info for a world gone mad with spending.

This is such an excellent question. Of course, everyone is different as we all have different budgets. I think the first thing to ask yourself is- what is your clothing allowance? If you’re not sure, it’s time to calculate one. So many of us (in the past, myself included) just spend here and there with a sort of wishy-washy idea of what our budget is. We roughly do the math in our head and then at the end of the month when the credit card or bank statement comes we think What?! How did I spend so much??

Tally up all of your monthly expenses: mortgage or rent, car payment, health insurance, bills, groceries, emergency fund, entertainment (such as books, films, plays) retirement savings etc., and generally whatever is left is discretionary and part of that can be your beauty and clothing allowance. For many of us this usually isn’t very much. The important thing here, however, is to be brutally honest with yourself. Is what’s left $30? Or $300? Either way, you can work with it.

Now that you have a capsule wardrobe, you won’t need to go shopping as much anyway. Gone are the days where you overspend on clothes and feed into the clutter of your closet. From now on your purchases will be well thought out and most everything you add into your space will be quality, investment pieces. So here is where Shelley’s question comes into play.

Let’s say your monthly wardrobe allowance calculates to $100. You have assessed your wardrobe and you come to the conclusion that you could really invest in a high quality trench coat. You don’t have one, have always wanted one and can see that there is a gap in your wardrobe for such a thing. You picture yourself in a gorgeous, camel colored trench- with the waist cinched in- belt artfully tied and collar jutting out just so, traipsing down a cobblestone street, or perhaps canoodling in a café... with Johnny Depp... in Paris! (OK this fantasy just keeps getting better).

But don't get carried away too quickly- first you need a trench coat. So what constitutes quality? Of course you would love a Burberry trench. There is no doubt about quality there- but that will run you around $1,000. And with your monthly $100 clothing allowance, you would have to save up for almost an entire year for that without buying anything else. If that is feasible for you, then make that your goal. If you can't see yourself saving for 10+ months, then set your sights on another quality item that is less expensive. Let’s say you find a chic, French minimalistic trench coat by A.P.C. (one of my favorite brands- and the make of my own trench coat). Their coats will run you around $400. You could realistically save your allowance for 4 months and purchase one. Or you could go the J. Crew avenue- where a nice trench will probably cost you around $250. The choice is yours. Either way, you are going to get a quality product as long as you take care of it.

What I wouldn’t suggest doing is buying a really cheap trench out of frustration (unless you’re desperate and are literally caught in the rain without a coat). While it is OK to get cheaper versions of most things, for something like a trench coat, you really do want quality (Remember coats, sunglasses, cocktail dresses, handbags, shoes and jewelry should always be quality- the rest can be less expensive). And if you end up buying a poorly made trench, you will probably have to replace it next season and in the end, spend more. So take your time to find just the right one and save up your money while you do so- you won't regret it.

In short, the final message is to scale your purchases to your budget to determine what quality means for you- ultimately allowing you to live a quality life- one within your means.


Shelley, thank you for your question. I hope I answered it for you!


If you have a question you'd like me to address on this blog, please leave a comment or email me @ jenncouture (at) gmail (dot) com

Above, pictured from my recent trip to the Getty Villa, are gold Italic necklaces dated between 500 - 400 B.C.


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2.28.2011

Sir David Tang and Only Using the Best Things You Have

5:00 PM 14 Comments


I must share this with you. As you know we subscribe to the Financial Times out of London. It’s really an excellent newspaper and their weekend edition is superb- particularly their Life & Style section, the House & Home section and their magazine How to Spend It. There are always thought provoking articles on art, food, fashion and a rather interesting column called Lunch with FT where they interview some person of note over lunch and also provide what was ordered. (I love knowing what people have for lunch and things like that. In fact, one of my favorite pastimes when standing in line at the grocery store is to observe what other people buy- it is very telling!). But I digress.

The first place I go to each weekend is David Tang’s column in House & Home. Sir David Tang is a business man (behind the famed Shanghai Tang stores, among other endeavors) that divides his time between Hong Kong, London and China. He runs an advice column on the subjects of “property, interiors, etiquette, home, parties and anything else that might be bothering you”. Not only does Mr. Tang possess a rapier wit, but his first class opinions on the above subjects are refreshing and unparalleled. I ran across the below question one week and found his answer to encapsulate everything I’ve ever expressed regarding only using the best things you have. Regard:

A reader writes:

In our household, Saturday breakfast is the sacred meal of the week, enjoyed at home around the kitchen table. My girlfriend makes an effort arranging the glassware in a certain order. I then have to rearrange the order of the glasses. This upsets my girlfriend, as she argues that caring about such trivial things at our own breakfast table, with no other company present, is petit bourgeois. Please advise.

Mr. Tang’s response:

One definition of a gentleman is that he uses his butter knife when dining alone. I tend to agree. I always succumb to my pair of ivory chopsticks and my best crockery and cutlery and linen whenever eating alone. Caring about how things look only when there is an audience is precisely to be petit bourgeois. I am very much from middle-class stock but I hate most of its ingredients. So you should insist on getting your breakfast table right, and observe to your girlfriend that by practicing the best, you won’t become phoney when you are joined by the Joneses and the Smiths.

I really couldn’t have said it better myself! When you use the best things you have and 'practice your best' on a regular basis, you slowly train your habits and your palate to appreciate quality. Those that save their best things for company are missing out on living a quality life and are, it has to be said, petit bourgeois.

I would love to know... are you using the best you have on a daily basis? Or are you saving your best for later?


I recently visited the Getty villa in Malibu and took some photos of Greek and Roman antiquities. The Greek wine vessels and implements pictured above are in silver and date back to 350- 300 B.C. It looks like the ancient Greeks appreciated fine tableware as well...


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2.20.2011

My Observations on the 10 Item Wardrobe

8:38 PM 16 Comments


The following are my thoughts and observations on the experience of the 10 Item Wardrobe:

Opening my closet in the morning makes me happy. Not only is it wonderful to see my items hanging so luxuriously in their own space (not jam packed next to each other) but it makes me inordinately happy to not wonder what to wear for the day. There are so few options, the choice only takes me a minute to figure out. Also, having a clutter-free closet boosts my mood. (It must be the feng shui of it all).

My desire to shop has not been strong. I did not expect this reaction in the slightest. I thought that after the first week with my 10 item wardrobe I would be begging for someone to take me to Nordstrom’s. Not so. There is something marvelous about having so little hanging in my closet- I am not in a rush to drop a lot of money and fill it up with clutter anytime soon. I know the urge to shop will return, but when it does I am hoping that I will peruse the shops with a very discerning eye and not over-purchase.

When I do go shopping I note that shopping is freeing. I normally never leave a shopping trip without purchasing something. I am interested in more expensive, quality pieces. I am more comfortable with window shopping for research purposes and not purchasing. I know that the next purchase I make will be a high quality choice and that I need to take my time to find what that is.

Acknowledging when an article of clothing is past its prime becomes easier. Last week I spotted a woman, who was wearing leggings, bend over and hug an acquaintance. She was in a room full of people and when she bent over she revealed three rather large holes in her leggings that exposed her backside! Clearly this is a woman who could benefit from analyzing her wardrobe. If she did so, she might have realized that her leggings were past their prime and could have avoided such an embarrassing situation. This poor woman’s ‘wardrobe malfunction’ has scared me into analyzing my own wardrobe. For example, I noticed that one of my favorite ‘extra’ shirts, a grey t from Splendid, was starting to look a bit sad. After one too many washings, it hung on my body in a very unflattering shape and just looked a little worse for wear. I believe the pre-10-Item-Wardrobe-me would have ignored the fact and stored it away just because it was kind of expensive (for a t shirt), but the post-10-Item-Wardrobe-me recognized that for my little grey t, retirement was imminent- and I got rid of it!

The ability to mix and match your clothing and create many possibilities is of the utmost importance. You should be able to pair almost everything together in your 10 Item Wardrobe- this is the only way to stave off boredom, eventually grow to loathe your clothing and utter those familiar words “I have nothing to wear!”

If you choose your 10 Item Wardrobe carefully, you literally force yourself to only use the best things you have and over time you become accustomed to it and can trick yourself out of ‘saving your best for later’.

To preserve your nice clothing while doing housework or other chores, wear an apron around the house. This was Madame Chic’s secret to keeping her clothes looking fresh while simultaneously taking on a lot of housework and cooking.

Getting behind in doing the laundry or dropping off the dry cleaning is not really an option- which can be a problem if you’re having a hectic week. I had a week where I got very behind with household chores (laundry included) and was ‘running on empty’ with regards to my wardrobe. I had to pull some items from my reserves to get by. Also- dropping off dry cleaning must be coordinated so that all of your dry cleaning is not out at the same time. If you do not have the laundry/ dry cleaning routine under control, adding more than 10 core items (20, for example) is probably the best solution.

If your fashion budget is on the lower end, avoid over-spending on the core items of your wardrobe.
Purchase the best that you can afford (which I will explain in greater detail in a future post entitled: Quality Wardrobe- How Much to Spend) but you do not need to make all of your 10 items ‘investment pieces’. Save the big splurges for the following items: coats, shoes, sunglasses, handbags, cocktail dresses, jeans, watches and jewelry. These items will last you a long time so quality is of the utmost importance. Also if the above mentioned items are quality, they can really dress up a moderately priced outfit and make it look quite expensive.

If you are still feeling resistance towards the 10 Item Wardrobe but are curious about its benefits, try it out the next time you go on vacation.
Scale your packing towards the length of your trip. For example, if you are going away for a long weekend, only bring 2 or 3 outfits. If you are going away 2 weeks, try packing your own 10 item wardrobe. You will experience the same benefit of doing the challenge in your own home and will have much less luggage to tote around (always a good thing).

With regards to maintaining and going forward you should adapt over time for what is right for you. If you are doing the experiment to the letter and are only using your 10 core items and you are having a wardrobe revelation carry on! If you find that you need to add more pieces into your capsule wardrobe to make it really work for you, then that is OK too. The exercise is extreme and even though Madame Chic and her family truly employed the 10 Item Wardrobe- it might not be right for you. Hopefully, going forward, you will take the best that this challenge has to offer by becoming more discerning towards the clothing you bring into your wardrobe. You will look at your wardrobe like you look at your home and not allow clutter into it. And ultimately, you will get one step closer to defining your true style.

I would love to hear your thoughts and observations on the 10 Item Wardrobe...

I recently visited the Getty Villa in Malibu and took some astonishing photos of ancient Greek and Roman antiquities, which I will be sharing with you in the weeks to come. The Marbury Hall Zeus is pictured above, dating back to 1-100 A.D.



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