10.11.2018

# 10 Item Wardrobe # Jennifer L. Scott

Reader Q&A | Poised but Lonely? | Am I in Touch with Madame Chic? | Family Background & More



Last week on Instagram I asked you to submit your questions for a Q&A. I received some great questions and had a lot of fun answering them in today's video.



What should you do if your poise is also making you isolated? Am I still in touch with Madame Chic? What do you do with ten-item wardrobe angst? What is our biggest marriage struggle? What is my family background? All of these questions, plus more are answered.

There are also special appearances from a lizard, a ghost, and a very adorable toddler!

What more could one want in a Q&A? :)

I hope you enjoy today's video.

Mentioned in the video: My rebounding routine.

News
*NEW* I am a guest on Lauren Morley's The Author Podcast. We have a wonderful discussion about the Madame Chic books.

Check out my interview on Dina Cataldo's Soul Roadmap podcast. We discuss all things Madame Chic and life after Paris.

Thank you to everyone who continues to take and comment on my eCourses, Create Your Own Ten-Item Wardrobe, and Chic Financial Principles for Debt-Free Living. I really enjoy connecting with you over these courses.

On Instagram
Lessons from Madame Chic in Mongolia...



Comment of the Week
mmhondd writes, "Hi! I'm Japanese. I read "Lessons from Madame Chic". I was very moved reading the book. So I threw away many unnecessary things and changed my way of thinking!! I'm glad to have met the book. I appreciate your kindness trying to express things. Thank you so much!!☺"


Thank you, mmhondd! I love connecting with my Japanese readers. I have a surprise announcement coming soon for my readers in Japan... stay tuned!


I hope you enjoyed today's Q&A. I would love to hear your thoughts on everything we discussed. Your comment could be chosen as comment of the week on the blog.


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7 comments:

Anonymous said...

That's so interesting to hear about you and your husband's different communication styles. My husband is the blunt one in our relationship - extremely so, since he is autistic and literally isn't able to understand hints, double meanings, subtleties, and so on. I had to learn to be completely literal and straightforward if I wanted him to understand me at all, and now it's second nature--I switch my language between him and other people without thinking about it, and I enjoy talking in both styles. We have plenty of difficulties, but communication sure isn't one of them! (In our case, our biggest problem is probably having different goals and outlooks on life.)

I'm so interested in your husband--is communicating subtly sort of such an important part of his character than he doesn't want to change it because that would mean you weren't accepting him (or something like that?) Or is it more of an unintentional thing that's difficult for him to change? Or is it much more (or less) complicated than that? I'm wondering how he would react if he had an arranged marriage to an autistic spouse :P

Jo said...

Hi Jennifer,
My husband and I still struggle with communication after almost 20 years of marriage, and we're both from the U.S.! Maybe sometimes it's more about the difference between male and female communication styles?
What an adorable little visitor you had!
I am so glad to hear that all is going well for your family.

Anonymous said...

^ I thought about my comment again, and I should have added that there have been downsides to me always talking in his style: I worry sometimes that I've lost some of my subtlety, and at times I find myself over-explaining things to other people. Overall, though, I think I'm happy having to talk the way I do to my husband because it's forced me to understand myself more: being vague or figurative keeps you from having to pin down and face or admit your feelings! Anyway, I wrote so much because it's a pet topic of mine :) Enjoyed your video, of course. I found your site via Edelweiss Patterns.

Niculina McClanahan said...

Hi Jennifer, what a lovely video, with toddler,and lizard, and everything! I totally can relate to the isolation feeling as well as the communication issues in a multicultural marriage. I come from a traditional kind of culture where manners and demeanor are still considered important. At first, the American side of my family had a really hard time to come to terms with my way of doing things, such as eating as a family at a nicely arranged table, being always presentable, keeping our home tidy and clean and so on. I believe they must have felt really intimidated by these higher standards they weren’t used with. They were trying to be nice but one could tell that they weren’t sincere with their compliments. I felt very isolated then and sad. My goal, however, was to bring the family together, so I had to make small adjustments and kind of give them time and space to adjust to better habits and manners. I scaled down on formality with them for a while and slowly brought it back up once I noticed that things were going well and everyone was enjoying a more refind way of doing things. After almost 20 years, I feel that somehow I shaped our family into becoming a classy, well behaved, polite and considerate group that I really love and cherish and I don’t feel isolated in their group.

As for communication with your husband, you may would have heard the saying “ the Americans and British are people divided by a common language” -just kidding:)). As a matter of fact I noticed that there is a lot of misscomunication even between people of the same culture not only between spouses belonging to different cultures. From my experience, I could tell you that respect, trust and love would bridge the gap between any cultural differences. Listening to each other, being considerate to each other’s needs and preferences and having open, calm and honest conversations does wonders. My husband and I have created our own culture in our family, that is neither mine or his, but it’s ours. I don’t push him in a corner to do things the way I’m used to and he doesn’t do that to me either. It was hard at the beginning, I was feeling like I’m losing my cultural identity, but I figured out at some point that while indeed I was losing some of my native identity, I was gaining a new, more complex one, so I’m embracing that process.
I apologize for such a long comment but I thought it was important to delve a little deeper into these 2 topics.
Wishing you and your family only the best!

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R.S. said...

A couples Q&A would be so much fun! My husband and I love the videos with you and Ben. Like many of your other fans, I'm sure, we wish you were our neighbors! We've even played around with the idea of making a video of our own, sort of a "response/reaction" type video, as you both continue to inspire and reinforce our sometimes countercultural way of going about our lives - everything from family time to finances.

Congratulations on the new baby, and continued best wishes in all your awesome endeavors! God Bless you guys!

The Daily Connoisseur said...

Hi ladies, thank you for watching and commenting.

Laura- your comment was very thought-provoking. It's true that we can adopt characteristics that aren't necessarily "us" when we try to communicate with a spouse over the long-term. I know I have..

Jo- you could be right. It could just be a male/female thing.

Niculina- thank you for sharing your experience with us. I love that you and your husband have created your own culture within your family.

R.S.- You should make a video! It's good fun :)