# Etiquette

How to Deal With Rude People

Always forgive your enemies - nothing annoys them so much.
-Oscar Wilde

Not that we are trying to annoy anyone, but this quote from Oscar Wilde really sums up my philosophy on dealing with rude people.

This week's video was heavily requested. We live in a world now where rudeness is more prevalent than we would like and the only way to overcome it is to be extra courteous, polite and kind. To lead by example.

Of course this is not always easy... watch my video to hear a recent anecdote of mine where I failed to take my own advice (we all have off days!)

If you are unable to see the video above, click here, look in the sidebar of this blog, or visit my channel: www.youtube.com/TheDailyConnoisseur

So this week I would love to know... how do you deal with rude people?

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helen tilston said...

Hello Jennifer

This is a great video and reminder of how to rise about the rudeness we experience. You are wise and I did laugh at your reaction to the lorry driver. Hee Hee. It takes one to recognize one.

Have a great week

Helen xx

Lacey R said...

I laughed at your reaction to the truck driver as well (driving his big-shot truck? he he ok that was bad). I admit I have done the same once or twice...people are very impatient drivers here!

Happy travels from now on! :)

Anonymous said...

It's hard, but you're right! It's much more conducive to living a high quality life NOT to let the jerks get us down! With driving, I'm lucky that I expect people to behave badly and to not pay attention, so they really can't bother me. My husband, on the other hand.... it stresses me out to be a passenger when he's driving because he gets so angry at how terribly rude everyone else is!

I find that angry time is not really high quality time, so I'm doing my best to spend less time being angry overall. Part of that is letting go of the uncontrollable, which includes how other people act. Thanks for the great reminder!

P.S. Gatsby is really well-behaved, I'm impressed!

Rosemary said...

My mother used to say "kill them with kindness." I didn't appreciate her wisdom at the time, but it's true, when you lose your cool, you feel worse later. I find when I stay calm, I feel a little victory and even a smugness.


hostess of the humble bungalow said...

I always take the high road...
practice "zen driving"
and basically invite the offenders to go first!

Better than a fender bender!

Jennifer Baldwin said...

This reminds me of a Lifehack article I recently read and whose advice I have been trying to adopt: http://www.lifehack.org/articles/communication/learn-to-love-annoying-people.html

Anonymous said...

Hi Jennifer, My mother always said "Kill them with Kindness" & you are right, that is the best way to deal with rude people, but sometimes in the heat of the moment, so hard to do! Nice to see Gatsby, he looks great on camera too :)

Dee J said...

Great advice. What you suggest is an active thing rather than something passive like "simply ignore them" (which is what I usually do). It's almost like you're forgiving the rude person in advance (until your emotions have a chance to catch up with your words!)

Have a good day :)

Stephanie Clayton said...

Great advice, Jennifer.
My lovely southern mother always told me to "kill them with kindness". She also taught me that "you catch more flies with honey than vinegar", which is the same idea in that one should always remain polite - sweet like honey, if you will - even when met with rude "flies".

Eva M. Vázquez said...

I love the idea to kill rude people with kindness but I also admit that to me it´s something hard to do! I am Spanish, I am a bit eager! :)

Luli said...

I usually try to ignore them. But last weekend I lost it with a rude lady and told her off. It felt so so so fricking good! But normally, just ignore them. That's the best policy.

Anonymous said...

I teach a one unit course at a university, but I'm a student myself. Sometimes, people take that as an excuse to be extra sassy during class. If I don't do something right away, it seems to spread to other people's attitudes! I think the best way to deal with rudeness is with honesty and clarity. A simple, "Please be respectful," is usually plenty.

Claire said...

Hi Jennifer,

I work in a customer service setting and I deal with many rude people daily. People are rude for many reasons -- legitimate or not, but one thing I know for sure on how to handle rude people is to keep myself professional, stick to the fact, and be as courteous as I can to them.

Sometimes, allowing yourself a gap/space -- between the time you feel yourself being ticked off and the time you act on your anger -- will solve multitude of problems. I always take a deep breath before handling situation involving rude people, or even before trying to open my mouth and speak to them.

I know this is not easy, but I'm glad to see this topic being discussed.


Nana Lee said...

Hello Jennifer,

I pause, collect my thoughts and ask "Are you having a tough day? I hope you feel better soon."
This always gets people to transform into a calmer place.

Thanks for the post!