# Etiquette # etiquette horror story

Etiquette Chat: Bad Language in Public

We continue exploring the concepts of etiquette, poise and deportment that I write about in Polish Your Poise with Madame Chic, with today's discussion on bad language in public.

In today's video, I share four examples from my everyday life, including an etiquette horror story from Geoffrey's. Oftentimes readers ask me why I bother to talk about these personal experiences, and why I don't just ignore them. I write about them because one of the main endeavors of The Daily Connoisseur blog and Madame Chic books is to help us to live beautiful, elegant lives. In today's modern life, it's an etiquette minefield out there! I like to bring up specific examples from my everyday life because I feel they are more helpful than generic generalizations. These real-life examples help to illustrate my point.

Clearly, my stance is that bad language should not be used in a public place where other people are privy to it (especially children). While many of my etiquette subjects tend to be controversial, I imagine that this is one that most of us can agree upon. It's always a good idea to look outside of ourselves and be aware of where we are and who we are around before speaking. Plus, it doesn't hurt to clean up our language...

Check out my video this week to hear my stories. If you are unable to see the video above, click here, look in the sidebar of this blog, or visit my channel: www.youtube.com/TheDailyConnoisseur


Jessica M. White shares her book picks for May, 2016 and Madame Chic made the list!

I enjoyed reading this article on Bridgette Raes' blog called 5 Secrets of a Well Dressed Woman.

This Thursday, I will be running a giveaway for the new Simon & Schuster novel, Amy Snow. I am reading this book now and it is so good. 5 winners will be chosen so be sure to stop by and enter!

Comment of the Week
Susan writes:

Hi Jennifer! Love all your books, videos and blogs! One thing I especially love is the listening to classical music in the afternoon! It really helps me transition to the evening . . . wouldn't have thought of doing that on my own!!! Also, your advice regarding going with the flow of the day . . . that helps so much! Your wall paper in both bedrooms is beautiful! Stay well and we are all looking forward to hearing the baby news soon.

Dear Susan, Thank you! I am so happy you discovered the joy of classical music through my books and blog. It is one of the very true pleasures I indulge in almost every day. I hope it continues to bring happiness to your everyday life.

Question of the Week
J writes:

Thank you for your insights! If you have time, I need some outfit suggestions for a week long trip to Disney World. I see you wearing cute ballet flats and flat sandals for activities with your girls, but my feet do not hold up wearing those. If you had to wear shorts and sneakers (I blister horribly from sandals when walking long distances) to a theme park, how would you make it look put together and feminine on top? I was thinking sleeveless polos and cute cardigans, but I'm lost. Shorts/sneakers are not my usual staples, but Disney is a whole other world. Thanks!

Hi J, great question! You can still look chic and be comfortable for your Disney World trip. If you would like to wear shorts and sneakers, no problem! You can wear a nice tee shirt or blouse, and pair a cardigan or light sweater with it. You can tie the sweater around your shoulders if it becomes hot, or wear it if you get cold. I would definitely suggest wearing a hat with a larger brim to protect yourself from the sun. When I go to Disneyland with my children, I usually wear jeans, a striped tee shirt, my Nike tennis shoes and a hat with sunglasses (see my photo below). It's important to look after your feet when you are standing on them all day. Have a wonderful trip!

Disneyland 2013 :)

This week I would love to know... what are your thoughts on this week's etiquette discussion? Are you noticing more bad language being used in public places? Have your children been subjected to it? How do you handle it? Let me know and your comment could be chosen as comment of the week on the blog!

See you on Thursday for a special book giveaway for the new novel, Amy Snow.

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Lillian said...

Hi Jennifer - yikes! What a horror story. I have to admit that I have let out an unsatisfactory word in public, and even noticed that children were present after saying it. Although this is not a common situation, I just burn with embarrassment and shame, even at the memory of doing it. I'm glad you remind us that poise is something we practice, so that when we do something we're not proud of, we can still cultivate poise in the future. I wish I could go back and apologize to any parents and kids who might have heard me, but I suppose the best I can do is take it as a lesson to be more careful about my language in the future.

By the way, I'm so glad you featured a comment about the Disneyland trip! In the summer, my friends and I do a lot of camping and make a few trips to amusement parks. If there is any place where I see a loss of "looking presentable" it is the amusement parks. People are constantly wearing clothing that most other public places would deem inappropriate (I know it's hot, but I would personally be worried a cropped tube top would result in a wardrobe malfunction on a rollercoaster!). I have my share of horror stories that I've witnessed in this department. I've started to put together a sub-section of my summer wardrobe that I've deemed the "adventure wardrobe". This is a 5-7 item collection of presentable shorts, T-shirts, a sweatshirt, and a chic pair of trainers that all coordinate like the things in my more formal everyday wardrobe. I find that having the "adventure" wardrobe makes preparing for one of these outdoor excursions very easy, without having to resort to full out exercise clothes.

Shawna Mason said...

I truly enjoy your books and blog. I have a comment about comfortable shoes. I have very flat feet and for years had trouble wearing anything except Saucony tennis shoes. I tried inserts but they often would not fit in dress shoes. I love ballet flats but just walking to church or on a date night would result in pain the next day. I have learned from you and others that quality should be first, rather than quantity. So I started investing in quality shoes...mainly on birthdays and at Christmas as my budget used to be a lot tighter. There are good brands, like Clark's and Earth shoes, but I would still need inserts so no flats or sandals. Then, a couple of months ago I saw an ad for Vionic shoes in Southern Living. I found a local department store that carried them and went to test them out. Amazing! They are actually made for people with foot problems, such as flat feet and plantar fasciitis. This may be sounding like an infomercial, but I am excited to be able to dress up to go somewhere! I bought my first pair a couple of weeks ago. I picked a pair of sandals (!!!) in a neutral cork finish. This weekend my husband and I went on a short trip for our anniversary. I wore them to dinner and to a museum the next day, including a bit of walking on their art trails surrounding the museum, and it was like I was wearing tennis shoes! We will be going on vacation to Washington DC and I had been stressed about what to wear on our tours of the Capitol and White House, now I can dress in a more respectful way because tennis shoes are not my only option. I hope this helps some of your readers. While they are excellent shoes for foot problems I bet they would be great vacation shoes for anyone who had to do a lot of walking. Thanks for the inspiration!

Patty Grossman said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
J said...

Thank you for taking the time to answer my question! I leave for my honeymoon on Monday morning and found two beautiful pair of Clarks sandals and have found some pretty striped nautical tanks/tees with lightweight cardigans for the day and some sundresses for evening. I will make sure to look for a hat, too :)

Shelly said...

Well, that is quite some story and I couldn't agree with you more. I think it's appalling that society has fallen to such a level that we aren't considerate of others any more. For me, there is no excuse for not dressing appropriately and as for bad language I don't think there is any place for it even in our own homes. Like you I find it quite shocking when the people around me let fly with bad language. I think we could certainly make our point in conversation without cursing and even not not raising our voices as this is when the people we are talking to only hear the loudness and cursing but not the actual point of what we are trying to say. Thanks for not being afraid to share your opinions.

Dianna said...

My husband and I rarely get out together without the kids, but last year we made it to a restaurant by ourselves—hooray! Unfortunately we were seated to a bunch of teenagers or young adults whose language was so filthy it literally made me feel ill. We asked our sever if we could move, and the server approached one of the young men at the table and asked him to stop: it turns out he was a a former employee! The young man actually came to us and apologized, which I appreciated very much, but the whole experience still ruined our quiet evening together.

The rule of thumb I try to follow and teach to my kids is this: Good manners is not calling undue attention to yourself. Crude language, too loud a voice in public, wearing something inappropriate for the venue, loud chewing, throwing fits in the grocery store—bad manners. We all make mistakes but if we make an effort and expect the best, things will get better.

Patricia said...

Jennifer, I'm a long-time follower of your blog. I know I've said this more than once in your "Comments" section, "You are "a breath fresh air;" "the voice of reason," and I so appreciate all of your posts, but especially those that address subjects such as this one...crass language, fatuous behavior, and dressing inappropriately for the venue whether it be dining in an upscale restaurant, the symphony (as opposed to a rock concert); dare I say, weddings and funerals as well? Your even having to write about this topic makes me very sad to see how we, as a society, have denigrated. My only hope is that the pendulum will again swing toward good manners; a happy medium where one considers others and propriety without going completely overboard in an opposite, and equally disregardant society. Your blog gives me hope in the knowledge that others, besides myself, agree with your
philosophy of a life well lived, and that there are children being taught these lessons still...everyday. Thank you.

Miss Betsy said...

Thank you, Jennifer, for writing on this topic. Bad language in public is a pet peeve, and for some reason it seems as though it is becoming more prevalent. Recently I was having breakfast with a friend at a small coffee shop near me. Because space is limited, the tables are about two feet apart. Seated next to us were two men who spoke loudly and peppered their conversation with the "F" word and other obscenities. They were not having a heated discussion, in fact they were just talking calmly and apparently thought their language was nothing out of the ordinary. I was considering asking the waitress to re-locate us to another table when, thankfully, they left. I had a tight knot in my stomach and I felt somewhat disrespected, although I'm sure these men were not even aware of myself or my friend. Again and again, in supermarkets, retail stores and other public venues, I hear people using bad language in everyday conversation. It makes me sad. Thank you so much, Jennifer, for addressing this issue.

Anonymous said...

"Bad habits and indifference to spiritual progress do much to remove the guard from the tongue."


Evaline said...

Hi Jennifer,
Thanks for raising this topic...I agree with you. I commute to work and there are often very young children on the train, and adults around them seem to swear profusely anyway. I notice high school students using very profane language in everyday conversation and using the "B" word to describe a female on a regular basis. Not good for fostering self esteem and respect.

There are also adult drama queens and kings who use negativity and swearing to attract attention. Many have not progressed beyond the stage in which swearing is an exciting act of defiance.

People have lost the love of language and no longer take pride in building a rich vocabulary or being eloquent. And they seem to speak very loudly these days, not concerned about being noisy or intrusive.

We do need to be mindful of what we are contributing to our surroundings. If you are in a public place and need to dig in your purse to find something, or to deal with a problem over the phone, excuse yourself and find a bench in the waiting area or some other quiet spot. Then return to your table, or your seat in the hair salon, and turn your attention to contributing a positive tone or element to the people around you.

Anonymous said...

Evaline, you say --
"If you are in a public place and need to dig in your purse to find something, or to deal with a problem over the phone, excuse yourself and find a bench in the waiting area or some other quiet spot."

If one does that, one is sometimes perceived as being weak or strange. And then other negative projections tend to follow.

How does one cope with that?

galant said...

I haven't yet watched our video, Jennifer, so am commenting on this before having seen it, which is possibly silly, but here in the UK it is generally the lower classes (or, as Nancy Mitford would have them, the Non-Us; U and Non-U stand for Upper class and Not upper class) who fight shy of the occasional expletive, whereas the upper classes think nothing of using the f-word, for example, and do it with style and panache.
I think this is the same with other words, such as the awful word "toilet" when one actually needs the lavatory, and I'm sorry to say, I don't like the way Americans call the place where you go for a wee the "bathroom". Over here the polite term is the "loo" after the French "l'eau" (water) and I then feel like asking if they want a bath?
I don't like euphemism in the way you don't like bad language. However, I don't mean that I pepper my speech with the f-word all the time, but if I dropped an ice cream on the floor the moment I'd bought it, or stubbed my toe on something, it would not upset me to yell "f-ing hell!" because that would be an automatic reaction and just to say, "Oh bother!" or something like that, I would consider a whole sight worse as it's so prissy.
When my Canadian friend was staying with us, if something happened to annoy her, instead of yelling "Oh sh*t!" she'd yell "Oh, shoot!" What sort of timid expression is that? Or perhaps this is an expression confined to Canada? I just hope it doesn't escape and invade the UK! No, I shall continue to let rip occasionally, it's what the upper classes have always done, it's only the lower classes who tend to be embarrassed by good old Anglo Saxon. However, as I say, I don't make a habit of using bad language all day l long; I had elocution lessons as as a child (young people today have even asked me what they are, it seems so arcane to have been taught how to speak correctly!) but I was also was taught from an early age that euphemism is as bad as swearing (i.e. "bad language" is really a euphemism, so I prefer to say "swearing") so for me no one "passed away" when they had died, and you find me asking for "the powder room" which is even worse than "bathroom". Now I expect I've upset everyone Stateside who use these words all the time and consider them quite correct.
Margaret P

galant said...

PS I meant you won't find me asking for "the powder room" ... my fingers can't spell even if they can type!
Margaret P

galant said...

PPS I have now watched your video, Jennifer, and I do understand where you're coming from, especially that it's inappropriate to swear in front of children. I agree but only up to a point: surely the children - if they've not been exposed to swear words - won't understand the bad language anyway, just as if we were in a room and someone suddenly said something in a foreign language, we'd not understand, so perhaps you are worrying a little unnecessarily here. They have to have heard the word at home and know it's not a word to use to understand that it's inappropriate. Anyway, that's just a thought. And like a lot of things, perhaps it's best for them to learn to use appropriate swear words at home, because one day they will swear, like it or not.
But what is the "s" word you're so upset about? You said "crap" which can be used as that particular a swear word, so I presume you mean "sh*t"? I often say something is "sh*tty" and I wouldn't find it offensive if someone said that.
However, sometimes a swear word isn't completely understood by the user. Years ago a friend read out a short story at our writers' group in which someone was referred to as "a stupid t*at." We looked at her and someone said, "do you know what that means?" and apparently she didn't and was shocked when she learned what it referred to female genitalia!
Therefore, I think we also have to be aware of the particular swear word we might use. This person thought it was "just a word she'd heard a lot" and thought it right for the story, but obviously its meaning had passed her by!
What I think we can all learn from this, Jennifer, is that some words appal and others don't. We are offended by some words and not by others. So it's best to play it safe whenever possible so as not to cause offence, but also to be true to ourselves and not be prissy about using colourful language occasionally. Even in front of my children, if I dropped something, say I smashed a lovely vase to smithereens and yelled "oh, f*cking hell!" I would feel happy about that. I'd rather they heard good old Anglo Saxon occasionally, and know it was only to be used in the most extreme circumstances, than my friend's prissy "oh, shoot!"
Margaret P

Unknown said...

You reminded me of a time I was out shopping. This group of ladies had just finished doing a workout class with kids in strollers and was taking the kids to play, I didn't find a problem with this even tho we were at a mall stores were just opening and we were close to trails but one lady that had on work out pants kept bending over and her pants became see thru every time she did, and she wasn't wearing underwear.This happened about twenty times in half n hour. I felt so bad for her because I felt that maybe she didn't know, but she was surrounded by friends and who was I to say anything. Would you have told her? Maybe she didn't care or felt it was ok, what about her friends.

Unknown said...

Also wanted to say we went to disneyland recently and I was worried about what clothes to wear, I normally wear dresses and skirts but wasn't sure how that would work. I did where some pants a few days but I also wore shirts with shorts under them and a few dresses, my girls only wore dresses with shorts. The last day we were there was daper day it was so much fun almost everyone was dressed up the way it should be, daper day reminded me of you but also is very busy day. One thing that bothers me and is so easy to fix is little girls in dresses with nothing but underwear under them. It's so easy to have them always wear shots and leggings under to cover up because dresses do fly up. I have even been thanked by men that my girls are always covered because most are not.

ewa ew said...

I am rather not swearing person, but in England swearing is very common :(

DPMindy said...

This chat is so timely as my husband and I were just discussing these very topics. We dine out frequently and it never fails that there is always THAT person/group in our immediate vicinity...the loud person, the inappropriate person, the just-rolled-out-of-bed person....they're ALWAYS right next to us! It has become a joke between us as well!

We have a neighborhood restaurant that serves very high quality food, has excellent service and doesn't cost a fortune. It attracts lots of people from the neighborhood and we go there frequently. It's not a fancy place. It's not expensive. BUT....we always dress up. Why? Not everyone does and not everyone notices, but the proprietor is a lovely lady who pulls herself together beautifully every single day. A veritable Madame Chic! She is on her feet greeting her guests for hours and hours, yet wears tailored, elegant clothes (definitely a capsule wardrobe lady!). She's cultivating an atmosphere and I feel we should honor that as her guests. Paying guests, but guests nonetheless. Unfortunately not everyone thinks this way.

I'm a bit of a hypocrite on language, though! I once witnessed a man's language that was so horrible that I really tried to give up cursing for good afterward! A man was leaving a store and looking around the parking lot for his wife who was already near their vehicle. She started screaming for him that she was "over here, hey, over here" He obviously wasn't seeing her and echolocation wasn't his strong suit. He was becoming increasingly frustrated when he just loudly started screaming, "where the f--- are you?". Repeatedly. It was shocking and hilarious at the same time. But, at that moment I realized I never wanted anyone to think about me the way I was thinking of him. I still laugh about him, but have tried to at least reduce my swearing after that. I've failed miserably and sometimes think a well-placed swear adds impact, but I do try to be a little more conscious of it!

People just seem more self absorbed these days. They don't think about others. Don't even get me started on the proliferation of music from personal portable speakers at beaches/parks, etc. Ugh. Pet peeve. Anyhow, thanks for your thoughts on this subject! I wish I could be better at ignoring this stuff, but it does get under one's skin.

Mini1 said...

I am completely with you Jennifer. I'm from the UK & you hear the f-word banded about all the time. I find it very depressing that our society has stooped so low. Unfortunately, I think it will only get worse as each generation thinks it's the "norm" to use such words. I wish I had the courage to confront people that use bad language in public but fear that I could end up in a fight! Instead, I will continue to not swear in public & teach my children that it is not acceptable. I am certainty not "holier than thou" and like you, will use some colourful language now again. Thank you for your blog and raising this issue. I always look to Mondays to hear what you have to say. Good luck with number 3!

Wenzday said...

Hi Jennifer,

I love your books and blog, and putting together the 10-item wardrobe has been amazing for me.

I am in total agreement with you on the bad language issue. (So is my husband, who makes me turn the sound up whenever I watch your videos!) The thing is, I think it goes beyond the fact that they are "bad words." I think it is about disturbing the atmosphere and comfort of people around you. Swearing is accompanied by strong negative emotion, and it is just plain obnoxious to inflict that on other people. Especially somewhere like a restaurant, where other people have dressed up and are paying good money to have a lovely meal and time with friends or family, or a beauty salon where one expects to be able to relax.

Thanks so much for your post! xoxoxo

Gail R said...

I support your view and that of many of your readers who have already commented this week that our culture has reached a point where the strongest obscenities are used casually. As you say, it’s one thing to mutter a curse when you stump your toe, another thing entirely when each sentence is peppered with profanity and used freely around people you don’t even know -- and children, whether you know them or not.

I enjoy reading the comments from your readers for this and other postings: always interesting, many times informative, and sometimes truly amusing – intentionally or not. I think Wenzday’s comment, above, really hits the critical point: Foul language is often accompanied by a strong negative emotion that affects everyone in range, and I would add it does the same thing when it is used casually.

I have certainly been mulling over the notion of instructing one’s children in the proper way to curse, as suggested by another reader. (I’m also mulling over if ‘proper way to curse’ is an oxymoron.) I’ve been under the impression that their peers would be quite sufficient for that purpose, but perhaps I need to rethink that.

Also, I found myself wondering this week if in a future posting you might address the issue of the line between self-confidence and smug self-satisfaction with one’s views and habits. In the eye of the beholder, perhaps?

Susanne said...

Such a great subject! I have a story about that as well. My husband and I went to Canada on our honeymoon. For dinner one night we went to an amazing restaurant in an old train car. Two men behind my husband were using such awful language that he told the waiter not to serve our food until the men had left because their language was "utterly repugnant!" It's just so irritating when you go somewhere really nice and have to hear such filthy language.
It's no wonder that you hear kids saying such awful things...they're only repeating what they hear their parents says. So sad.

Claire Lawry said...

Thank you for talking about this issue. I do cringe whenever I hear bad language in public, especially around children or even old people. Not only is it bad for kids to hear, but it's disrespectful to old people too. They probably wonder what world they are leaving for the next generation. One thing that scares me about hearing bad language is that I worry if the person swearing could attack someone. I worry if they will pull a knife or a gun, or worry if they are on drugs. Once, I was on a bus, and there was a gang on there that was swearing so much and calling people on the bus racist for no reason. It was so bad the transit police got called in to intervene.

LRS4AMANDA said...

Hi Jennifer,

Cursing in public is a big pet peeve of mine. I do cuss...but I save it for when I'm angry or I drop something on my foot, etc. and I only do it at home. (or in the car haha) I used to always tell my daughter to not swear in public because you never know who you might offend.

I have on many occasions, called someone out on it if I hear the "F" word in public. Quite a few years ago, I was at Barnes & Noble with my husband seated at a table. At the table behind us was a young couple and a male friend of theirs. The guy kept cussing at his girlfriend using the "F" word and it was almost to the point of abusive. She seemed very timid and was almost cowering. I finally spoke up and said something, and then my husband and I got up and left. I almost felt like I was in an episode of "What would you do?.

I can relate to your comment in your video about attracting certain people when you go out to eat. For me is it concerts, for some reason I always get next to someone that won't stop talking to their date or companion(s)!! Drives me crazy. I quit attending concerts years ago for that reason and I can't even tell you the last time I set foot in a movie theatre. People are just so rude!

Linda in San Diego

Emma Knight Peel said...

I really dislike hearing swear words in casual conversation. I hear them every day in Chicago, in line for lunch, on the train, and walking down the sidewalk. It's ugly! I'm no saint, either, and I have done it, and I immediately feel bad and talk to God about it. One woman on my train curses so much every morning in the station while walking with her friends. I call her the cussing woman. She might be the one who yelled at a man once for not holding the door for her, "get some f***ing manners!" That was ironic! It is easy to forget those around you, or to want people around you to know how angry and stressed you are, but in the end, it just makes you look and feel bad. I greatly admire people who keep their cool and can express themselves without swearing. My parents and I were having ice cream cones in Mom's car this weekend, and there was a couple in a truck with a dog parked next to us, and the man told the dog to stay in the F-ing backseat. He could have just said "stay in the backseat." People need to learn that they don't need to throw in swear words to emphasize their point! It makes them seem uneducated and second class, in my opinion.

Emma Knight Peel said...

I thought about you when I saw a commercial advertising yoga/workout clothes as "athleisure wear." Ugh! I think you see much more of it in California.

Sam said...

I have a story about this. I was walking in an upscale shopping district with my two children when I heard the woman behind me very loudly using the f word repeatedly. I turned around smiled and very politely and lightheartedly said "Careful! Children are present!" The woman instead of apologizing, or even ignoring me, aggressively go in my face and started yelling at me that she could do whatever she wants because its a public place and she has the right to say whatever she wants. I just paused and looked at her and said "I know you from somewhere." She backed up, mumbled "Ya I know you from somewhere too..." and scurried off. A few moments later I realized That this aggressive 50 something potty mouthed woman was the owner of a local yarn store where one of my children had taken knitting lessons! It just seemed so strange for an upper middle age woman business owner of a store that focuses on such a wholesome hobby to behave in such a way. I have on the other hand on multiple occasions in rougher neighborhoods had heavily tattooed young men dressed like 'thugs' apologize to me "Oh! Excuse my language ma'am I didn't see you and the little ones before I said that!" when they have cursed in front of my children without knowing they were present. This seems to be a normal thing in my city. You really can't judge a book by its cover here! I do advocate dressing modestly and as well as one can but these strange situations have certainly taught me to look beyond the exterior in all situations.

Tami Mills said...

Hi Jennifer,

My daughter and I are new to your blog but feel we have found kindred spirits. On the topic of swear words an important note is the difference between cultural awareness and manners. Words may change from place to place, for example "loo" verses "powder room," so it is important to keep in mind where you are and use the appropriate phrasing. Manners, however, should cross boundaries and people should keep in mind that not everyone will appreciate crass language in public. We look forward to your post every Monday!

Robyn said...

My favorite of the "four agreements" is to be impeccable with your word. Words are very powerful. Many ancient cultures would not say certain words. They had respect for the power they would invoke. I think this goes along with cursing. Words should be used judiciously.
As far as dress, I usually don't pay attention to other people's dress unless it is unusual one way or the other. I do work on looking presentable most of the time.

Robyn said...

I wanted to share some info for the person who is visiting Washington DC. We live in Virginia our daughter lives in Washington DC. It is very hot and humid there in the summer. I have found wearing a sleeveless chambray dress, vans or supergas, a cross the body bag filled with a light cardigan/jacket, sunscreen and water works the best. I also wear I hat. At night we usually go to nice restaurants so I wear a black linen or wrap dress, or white jeans and a silky top.

I don't know how much Disney land is different from Disney World but we went to the one in Florida. We rode a lot of water rides, I would bring rain ponchos, clothes and shoes that dry quickly. When you're wet for most of the day you can only look but so presentable.

Valerie said...

Thank you for the topic Jennifer. I myself am not comfortable with swearing. Sometimes when I am around a group who uses a lot of vulgar language I notice I say things I normally would not. It makes me realize that the gap between what I used to tolerate from myself and those around me has narrowed. Which in my opinion is a good thing. There are many other ways to make a point without swearing. I think swearing around kids is bad form altogether. I suppose it is up to each person what they find acceptable for themselves. I try not to judge others for swearing, but I don't want to spend too much of my time having a conversation with such a person either.

Unknown said...

Hi Jennifer,
Thank you for your wonderful books. I'm almost done with polish your poise and will be very sad once I'm finished with it. I have a couple of questions that I would love your options on....
I'm a new mother (my daughter is 10months old) and I Nanny 2 boys (ages5&3), you would be shocked at some of the comments people make when we go anywhere, the most common is; geezs you've got your hands full...are all those yours?!? At this point I'm not feeling very Chic, I have to stop whatever I was thinking or doing, try to laugh off the comment and then feel I have to explain my situation, which afterwards leave a me feel not chic.
How do you stay poised and chic when you have a screaming baby, crying toddler or when then children aren't listening to you?
Any advice? I would love to hear all your parenting tricks/tips.

Also, would you ever consider writing a Madame Chic book about having children and dealing with all that. I've read at home with Madame Chic and really enjoyed it....
Thank you again for all your beautiful writing, it brings such joy into my life. I love using your tips in my daily life!
Ali K