# elegance # Etiquette

Ten Ways To Be Effortlessly Polished | Elegant Behaviors

In continuation of my series on being elegant and polished, I am sharing ten more ways to be effortlessly polished. These tips focus more on being rather than "looking". I do hope you enjoy today's video


Equally important to how we look is how we behave. They both go hand-in-hand in exuding elegance. Today we are going to examine how we carry ourselves and how we treat the spaces around us as well as other people...

Carry yourself gracefully From your posture to the way you walk, carry yourself gracefully. Here’s a trick: set up a camera and film yourself doing an activity (like cleaning the living room). This will allow you to see yourself as others see you. You might notice you hunch your shoulders when you get stressed, or that you tend to stomp your feet instead of lightly walking gracefully. Aim to be intentional about how you carry yourself for a polished outcome. 

Eye contact Eye contact vs. shifty eyes… which ones seems more calming and grounded? We all know it’s eye contact. No matter who you are speaking to, give them your full attention with eye contact. Avoid looking over their shoulder or at other people, which gives the impression that you are not listening to them or interested in what they’re saying. 

A clean car I get an F- on this one… I do. But I will try to get better at it. If your self-presentation is neat and your home is neat, well… your car should be neat too. Avoid trash and excess bags and clothing and whatever else ends up cluttering up the car. Go for a tidy interior and exterior to extend elegance to the road. 

A clean handbag If we look polished, but our handbag doubles as a miniature trash bag, we are sending mixed messages. Elegance and poise should extend everywhere and our handbags are no exception. Regularly clean out your bag and discard of trash or reallocate important things that don’t belong there. 

Take Your Meals Sitting Down This one is big. It’s very hard to be elegant while walking and eating at the same time. After all, how can you focus on your food? There are a few exceptions, such as when you get an ice cream at the beach, for example, but in general, we should aim to sit down to a properly set table to enjoy our meals. Walking and eating at the same time is not chic. 

Taking your time (not rushing) There are times to rush and times to not rush. In general, we do not want to rush through our everyday life. Don’t allow others to rush you either. 

Having a calm demeanor is in stark contrast to a rushed/ harried demeanor and goes a long way toward projecting poise. Not overreacting When we get mad, whether in traffic, or in conversation with someone, the elegant thing to do is not overreact. Remain uber-calm. Put on your Mona Lisa smile, if you must. Watch your breathing, posture, and eye contact. Refrain from saying something you’ll likely regret later. Pause. Walk away. Do whatever you need to do and refrain from lowering your standards.  

Air of mystery How much do you share on social media? Is it too much? Do you share too much of your children? Of your problems? Of your triumphs? Do you overshare what happens to you throughout your day? Assess this because poised and elegant people are also mysterious, in a good way. Check out Lessons from Madame Chic for more on this topic. 

What experience do you give from start to finish? It’s true we are not responsible for making other people feel things, but we should be interested in what experience we give people from start to finish. Before we meet in person, we might communicate by email, for example. Are your emails appropriate and professional? When we meet them, we give a first impression. Are you dressed appropriately? When we close our conversation we leave them with a feeling of how it went. Did they feel that they were heard? Being conscious of what experience we give people from start to finish is key to garnering poise. 

Be well-spoken Elegant people avoid base swear words. They also avoid excessive filler words (like, um, you know). They also phrase their sentences beautifully: “I would like vs. I want”. I will be doing a follow-up video on this subject so make sure you’re subscribed to my YouTube channel and turn on notifications so you don’t miss it.


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Unknown said...

I love your tip about sitting down to eat your meals. I have a story I'd like to share. I worked in the OR for more than 30 years, and to say the nurse's lounge during lunch time is chaotic is an understatement. However, there was one nurse that ALWAYS set out her real plate, silverware and glass to have her meal. Sometimes it was a salad she prepared from home or sandwich or chicken strips from hospital kitchen. It was like a little calm in the midst of the storm. I never forgot that and now that I'm retired, I always set a real plate, silverware and glass to have my meals--even if I'm by myself.... Stacie

The Daily Connoisseur said...

Hello Stacie,

Thank you for sharing this! Your comment was comment of the week last week and I forgot to mention that to you here. Loved your story!

~ Jennifer