# classy to trashy # downhill society

5 Ways to Keep it Classy in a Trashy Society

If you've read certain news headlines lately, you might agree that society has gotten a little bit trashy. You might have noticed this in the way people dress, speak, and entertain themselves. It can feel awkward to remain classy in a trashy environment, especially if you don't like to draw attention to yourself. In today's video I'm going to share 5 ways you can keep it classy in a trashy society.

👑 Tip #1 Always take the high road. ALWAYS. This, of course, is easier said than done. When someone angers you, it is the natural and easier thing to appeal to our baser instincts and lash back out at them. We naturally want to defend ourselves. But to keep it classy, you should always pause before reacting and react in the most gracious way imaginable.

👑 Tip #2 Watch your tongue. Swearing has gone mainstream. In order to keep it classy, keep your language clean. It’s never OK to swear in a public place where children are present. It’s also not OK to swear in a business setting in front of customers. Set yourself apart from a trashy society by keeping your language clean.

👑 Tip #3 Maintain an air of mystery. You will often see celebirties sharing intimate details of their private life. Things that might be better left unshared. Whenever you share something online, ask yourself what your intention is behind the share. This will prevent you from oversharing in a way that is not meaningful.

👑 Tip #4 Look presentable always. Dress in our society has become extremely casual. Find your true individual style, and express that on a daily basis with class. It doesn’t matter if you are bohemian, preppy, classic, minimalist or any other style. Put some thought into your wardrobe, and by doing so you will be keeping it classy.

👑 Tip #5 Cultivate your mind. One of the hallmarks of a trashy society is dumbed-down entertainment. And lots of it. Mindlessness proliferates. People are content with being couch potatoes and watching trashy reality tv shows full of arguing, back-stabbing and the latest scandal. Instead, elevate your entertainment and cultivate your mind at the same time. Return to reading good books, classic literature. Enjoy poetry, listen to classical music or jazz. The top 40 hits are oftentimes laden with curse words, vulgarities, and other low-brow concepts. Move away from it by cultivating your mind. For more on this, I do a monthly chic assignment that incorporates many of these concepts.

These are just 5 ways, but I could go on and on. Let me know if you'd like to see a part two to this video. Also, let us know your thoughts on how to keep it classy in a trashy society and your comment could be chosen as comment of the week. In addition, my third book, Polish Your Poise with Madame Chic, is an excellent resource for classy and poised living.

My dress is by Everlane and my earrings are Ana Luisa Jewelry (code Jennifer10 gives $10 off first order).

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Thank you for your reviews of Connoisseur Kids on social media and online. P. Johnson writes, "This is a timely book that clearly and succinctly guides children (and adults!) in good manners and explains etiquette in a fun way. There are easy games to play to reinforce what is being taught, such as “look a person in the eyes when talking with them.” Jennifer is a kind life coach in areas such as communication, hygiene, and manners, to name a few. I think parents and children will enjoy reading and playing the games together. She also lists many alternative ideas to having screen time as one’s default mode! I hope many people purchase and utilize this excellent book."

P. Johnson, thank you for your lovely review. I'm so glad you are enjoying Connoisseur Kids!

Thank you for joining me today. I hope you enjoyed today's video. I would love to hear your triumphs and struggles with how to keep it classy in a not-so-classy society.

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Woman of the House said...

I completely agree with you, Jennifer! Have you read this book? https://www.amazon.com/When-White-Trash-Become-Normal/dp/1621571602/ref=sr_1_1?crid=1SEMPE1EVYAP2&keywords=when+did+white+trash+become+the+new+normal&qid=1570716344&sprefix=whend+did+whit%2Caps%2C176&sr=8-1 As you might expect, some people hate it, but I appreciated it, though I didn't agree with *everything* the author wrote. Still, the message of the book is one that should resonate with Daily Connoisseur readers.

Donna said...

Great video. So appropriate for the times. Yes, please give us part two!!

Anonymous said...

Please film a part two.

ellekirk@gmail.com said...

Great video.
Thanks you.

Frenchcaligirl said...

No matter what anyone posts, there will always be haters. It could seem like the nicest most well-meaning message; and someone will lash out. Unfortunately that is our reality. Just have to try to rise above it and serve as an example of civility.

mominapocket said...

So very true...especially #5!

Deborah said...

thumbs up for a part two! Excellent topic and delivery.
BTW I love the new background you've used. :)

Kristyn Hall said...

There is a lack of self-respect and respect for others. That is what I see as a big part of the problem. :(

Anonymous said...

Jennifer, thank you for this. It is sad that as a society we have come to a point where these tenets of respectability have to be reiterated. Your post reminded me of a book by the late television pioneer Steve Allen, "'Dumbth:' The Lost Art of Thinking, With 101 Ways to Reason Better and Improve Your Mind." Sadly, Allen passed away only two years (2000) after the book was published. I think he would have applauded many aspects of your online communication, especially your Chic Assignment. I am reminded of his television program, "Meeting of Minds" that had actors portraying historical figures from different periods of time conversing in roundtable discussions. I am participating for the first time in the Chic Assignment and quite enjoying it.

It is interesting that your comment on keeping an air of mystery about oneself seems almost revolutionary in this age of social media. I have noticed on social media a premium placed on being "authentic" in the face of perceived "highlight reel" postings. But I wonder at what price is the attempt at "authenticity" that presents itself in posting intimate facets of one's life (widely ranging from purple stubbed toes to the agony of mental illness)? Your encouragement to think about one's motive/purpose in communication is a topic that needs to be addressed in homes and schools. Where is the balance? What is appropriate? In our "in your face" times, which are coinciding with a need for frank, authentic discussions on challenging social issues (especially thinking of mental illness) how much disclosure is too much? This is crucial for today's children whether they are currently participating in social media or not. Developing the tools to achieve enough self awareness to realize one's motive in communication of any kind, but especially online since The Internet Is Forever. When does authentic communication devolve into what the late writer Elisabeth Elliot described as "emotional striptease?" When does a desire for connection become an unconscious design to manipulate? (Not asking you to cover all of this in a second post, LOL, but trying to reconcile in my own mind what is possible now in our runaway train society. Your writings are such a breath of fresh air! I have not read your latest book so it is possible you address some of these topics in it.) Thank you.

Laura said...

Without getting political, I think it has been devastating for our country to have such trashy talk coming straight out of The White House. I pray this is not a new normal for our country.

Laura said...

Without getting political, I think it has been devastating for our country to have such trashy talk coming straight out of The White House. I pray this is not a new normal for our country.

ginko said...

Thank you for reminding us we can all take the higher road if we’ll just take a moment to get hold of ourselves, and remember that we do want to stay on that higher road, and be a good example to children we may be in the presence of as well as any adults we may be influencing. It’s interesting to think how powerful an influence we can be if we don’t react.

Kgirl said...

I saw someone deliberately share their unwaxed bikini line on Twitter this week and I honestly don't know what has happened to the world.

Anonymous said...

So today I was waiting in my vehicle at the car dealership. The driver of the vehicle in front of me decided to reverse. I was honking the horn, as there was nowhere for me to go. He kept backing up, completely oblivious. Fortunately, the driver behind me heard my horn and was able to back up a few feet, so I was able to reverse. This was not a case of someone accidentally hitting reverse. His vehicle is of a model and age where a backup camera is basic equipment. He could see what he was doing; he knew I was there. It was intentional. There is no way out of this line once you're in it, except forward. I wonder what exactly he expected me to do -- levitate?

It amazes me how often people fail to think of anything but what they want, without regard for others. His selfish choice put me in an impossible situation.

This is just one example from the past two days. Roadways seem to be a place where anything goes. I guess I shouldn't be surprised that a number of road rage incidents have made the news in my city this week.

I honestly think that some people think they're living in a video game, not driving on real streets with real drivers and passengers who might be harmed by their actions.

Anonymous said...

Thank you for this post. I agree that we have become a very trashy society. What happened to general decency an basic manners? Social media has really been a detriment in this regard and all of us who can should present as classy and courteous to all. Let's reinforce the positive to those that hold open doors, say thank you and show examples of what a polite society looks like!

Anonymous said...

Well, Laura’s comment... That’s it.
As my English is not enough, appropriate, whatever... As a German girl I don’t like to swear (only when driving) and I don’t like to upset your readers. Therefore I will keep my opinions to myself. Love you and‘ll watch your videos in future

Unknown said...

A simple way to keep it classy is to remember basic manners and courtesy.
Hold a door for someone, let someone who has only a few items go ahead of you at the grocery checkout, simple gestures can show that all of society is not trashy....and who knows -- maybe the good example may inspire others.
A part 2 would be welcome --
Thanks Jennifer

Unknown said...

A simple way to keep it classy is to remember basic manners and courtesy.
Hold a door for someone, let someone who has only a few items go ahead of you at the grocery checkout, simple gestures can show that all of society is not trashy....and who knows -- maybe the good example may inspire others.
A part 2 would be welcome --
Thanks Jennifer