# 3 articles on dress # articles on dress

3 Current Event Stories on Dressing and Looking Presentable

In today's video, I'm sharing 3 interesting current events articles pertaining to dress. We discuss the etiquette behind dress, the psychological effects behind dress, and the real-world consequences that revolve around proper dress.

Bridesmaid shares photo of Bride's dress on Facebook

Here is an excerpt from the article:

More often than not, a bride's wedding dress is kept a secret from her fiancé until the big day. And that was the wish of one bride, until her bridesmaid took it upon herself to share a photo of the dress on Facebook.

Over the weekend, the upset bride turned to the online forum Mumsnet to share her situation and ask for advice. "I know I probably am but just wanted to hear others opinions on whether they would be sad about it or if I just need to get a grip," wrote the bride in a post. "Getting married soon and after trying on a lot of different dresses I finally found the one, something I never thought I would due to being very body conscious and anxious. Went back for final fitting at the weekend and took one of my bridesmaids as she wanted to see."

The bride continued to say that during the fitting, the bridesmaid decided to post of photo of her in the dress on Facebook. To make matters even worse, the bridesmaid tagged the bride's partner in the post. Since she posted the photo during the appointment, a few hours passed before the bride even noticed what her bridesmaid had done.

"When I asked her to remove it her response was ‘it doesn’t matter if he’s seen it he’s a man so he will have forgotten what it looks like in 5 minutes time,'" continued the bride. "My dad had also seen it as well and it was going to be a surprise for him on the day too."

A few years ago I posted an article on Facebook etiquette that discussed my thoughts on this matter and my thoughts remain the same... I think that the actions of this bridesmaid were in very poor form. Social media is changing our brains so we feel like we need to share absolutely every aspect of our lives, even to the detriment of others. This bridesmaid should have been sensitive to the fact that the bride wanted her dress to be a secret to her fiancé until the day of the wedding. By sharing this premature photo of the dress online, she ruined the surprise and likely her friendship as well. What do you think? Would you be upset by this?

Hospital Patients Urged to Dress Up to Recover Faster

Here is an excerpt from the article:

Hospital patients across the country will be told to get up and dressed in the daytime in a bid to end “pyjama paralysis” which can cause premature frailty.

Britain’s chief nursing officer will today launch a national campaign to get patients moving after pilot schemes found that getting patients out of bed boosted their health and got them home earlier.

Studies show that three in five immobile, older patients in hospital had no medical reason requiring bedrest. Salford Royal Hospital was one of the first to adopt the campaign, which saw staff setting up group meals, encouraging visits from therapy dogs, and setting up activities for those recovering from ill-health.

Ward managers said the efforts saw the average number of falls recorded per month fall from 12 to just two. Staff said it was crucial to encourage a “sense of normality” among patients, to avoid feelings of institutionalisation, which could result in frailty.

I loved this article because it exemplifies and backs up my thoughts on how what we wear actually matters. If we wear our pajamas or similar relaxed (read: sloppy) clothing everyday, we behave and feel differently. What do you think?

Woman Gets Kicked Out of Golden Corral Restaurant for Wearing Inappropriate Crop Top

Here is an excerpt from the article:

A woman in Pennsylvania is speaking out against the restaurant chain Golden Corral after getting kicked out of its Erie, Pa., location because of her outfit.

Sueretta Emke took to her Facebook to share her grievances from a visit to the family-style restaurant where she went with her husband, son and some friends to celebrate her son’s birthday. However, the group didn’t have the dining experience that they anticipated since they were ultimately asked to leave.

According to her post, the manager of the particular franchise told Emke that she was dressed “too provocatively” for the restaurant and suggested that she cover up. When asked what was inappropriate about her outfit, the manager couldn’t provide an answer.

This article reminded me of the recent news story I covered regarding the dress code for parents. Inevitably, when a dress code is instituted, certain people will be unhappy about it. I believe each business should be able to dictate a dress code for proper presentation as they see fit and think the manager was within his rights in this situation. What do you think? (I am not posting a picture of the woman in the article on this blog, but you can see for yourself when you click on the article link.)

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Comment of the Week
Kristyn writes, "I tried your method for poached eggs and they came out perfectly. Thank you so much! I have been a homemaker for 25 years and could never master that skill (I think my cookbooks scared me early on with their advice to "make a vortex"). Simple is best!"

Hi Kristyn, I am so happy to hear that! It's little tricks like that that are truly game-changers in our everyday life. I hope you and your family enjoy poached eggs for many years to come now!

I would love to know what you thought about each of these current events stories. Let us know your thoughts and your comment could be chosen as comment of the week on The Daily Connoisseur.

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Anonymous said...

Two of these stories have the same theme: lack of boundaries. For some reason, many people nowadays have a sense of entitlement. They think that they can do whatever suits them, any time, any place, without consideration for others. I think "reality" TV and social media have encouraged the "selfie" generation. By selfie, I mean selfish.

Kristyn Hall said...

Aww... comment of the week? What a surprise and a joy! ♡ Thank you!
Regarding the first story, I agree that social media (often unsocial!) has eroded discretion. Parents, too, will share their adult children's news as if it's their own. I try really hard not to do that, even if it's good news and I am just a happy mom feeling excited for them. I think the same type of problem surfaces in many different scenarios. I agree with "Anonymous," it really is selfish.

Deborah said...

I agree with the comments above. Selfishness.

The bridesmaid story...I personally don't touch Facebook or social media (except this blog!) because I so easily do stupid things without thinking, like this bridesmaid did. It's hard enough to watch your tongue in personal conversations, let alone on social media where it feels so "safe"! Whew! I have heard so many bad stories because of FB.

Once I was in a home setting group of girls and ladies, and 2 of us had been through a hilarious situation earlier that day, and we were telling the story, it was so funny. Without me realizing it, a young girl videoed me just making a fool of myself hysterically laughing so hard. Thankfully her wise grandmother was there and told her, "what's on your phone STAYS on your phone." So far, I believe she has respectfully honored that. But you never know, do you?
I liked your comment that perhaps the bride didn't want that particular photo being out there. That is truly a kind and generous thought, Jennifer.

About the Golden Corral. I applaud them. That woman, and frankly, anyone who dresses inappropriately, whether it's slovenly, too casual, or seductive, is being disrespectful (selfish) to everyone around them. My husband and I don't go many public places because of the way women dress. It's a huge hole in our activity choices.
But, did you continue to read this story? Golden Corral corporate has apologized to her and promised "better staff training" and gave her gift cards as a peace offering!! So now all the OTHER customers have to put up with people like her who think it's OK to dress with everything hanging out, sitting at the next table over, or walking by your table as you're eating.

I love the article on dressing to get well faster. Reminds me of Flylady's philosophy, as well as Patsy Clairmont. Both came out of depression, and getting OUT of the PJs was a crucial first step as well as making their beds.

Love your blog, Jennifer! Hugs!

Deborah said...

One more comment, Jennifer...

Could you compile a list ... ask your viewers...
1. Names of well-known retail stores and restaurants that play nice music. I can't find any retails stores except Hobby Lobby. Even "high-end" department stores and JCP play the same irritating stuff as everyone else.
2. Names of chain restaurants or other establishments that DO have dress codes.

Thank you!

Frenchcaligirl said...

I totally agree that it should be unthinkable to post event photos for anyone other than yourself. There are aspects of social media that I can’t stand with that sort of thing being one of them. Sometimes people just share too much. I enjoy seeing what others post but rarely post anything myself.
I can understand that getting out of pj’s into more presentable clothing can have a positive effect on recovery but it was a more dramatic difference than I would have expected. Interesting.
I’m often puzzled by some people’s clothes selections. The mom at Golden Corral chose something that clearly wasn’t flattering. Years ago I occasionally watched a show called “What Not To Wear,” where the 2 show hosts re-educated a person on what would look nice on them and why. Then, gave them money and moral support to use toward re-outfitting their closet and as needed gave them some direction while shopping. They also provided a cosmetologist and hairdresser to help them update their look. The results were so dramatic and the client gained such a boost in confidence. Their new outlook on life went far beyond just the clothing. Fun to see the transformation.

Aussie Connoisseur said...

I think the Facebook story illustrates what I think of as the 'rise of the individual': in other words, it's all about what someone wants to do, whether it is appropriate or best for others or not. It may seem unrelated, but in my own town people have been using as much water as ever in spite of severe drought: it is sad and unbelievable.

The hospital story was fascinating, and I have to say that if I am particularly tired and dealing with any large stress that I feel much, much better if I do not show my tired face to the world! If I have needed bed rest for illness, as soon as I can I wash my hair and remove all signs of illness from the bedroom - medicines etc....and change the sheets. Freshening things up really helps with feeling better.

As for the crop top (and the whole ensemble she is wearing)... nooooooo! I do feel some sympathy for this woman though, as I cannot imagine a happy person letting herself look so slovenly.


Mimi Gregor said...

The bridesmaid did something that I would consider unforgivable. Had I been the bride, I would have cut her out of the wedding party and my life. She obviously has a problem understanding boundaries and did not even apologize for her actions. Who needs friends like that?

I think that the restaurant has the right to decline service due to clothing choices. BUT! They must post this information somewhere, not arbitrarily decline service. That being said, if this woman were seated next to me at a restaurant, I probably would ask to be moved to another table, because it would put me off my food. I don't think her outfit was "provocative" per se, as the word implies sexual attractiveness. The word that comes to mind to me for her outfit is simply "disgusting." It may not be quite as disgusting as a wizened, overweight old man with "man-boobs" cutting his lawn without a shirt on, but it's definitely a close second. I'd be ashamed to wear such an outfit at home alone, let alone post it for the world to see on FaceBook.

Shoemom said...

RE: Crop Top Mom

My intents not to body shame anyone; none of us are that “perfect”. I would have preferred that the mom would have taken the opportunity to respect her son and husband by putting a little effort into making his birthday dinner a special occasion. Her choice was more suitable to the backyard. There’s no doubt the restaurant handled it inappropriately.

Anonymous said...

Hi Jennifer!

Thank you for bringing up these stories, and thank you everyone who commented; we always benefit from informed discussions like this, as long as we keep an open mind.

The crop top mom has specially caught my attention. I kept thinking about where to draw the line between an individual's right to express him or herself and another individual's right to feel bothered, or even disgusted as someone pointed out.

You know, American society has traditionally sided with freedom of expression, no matter who it hurts. And there are some very good reasons for that, the most important being preservation of our democracy where everyone's rights to self-expression should be guaranteed. The problem with this is that, in some cases, minorities rights are thrown under the bus. And we, fellow connoisseurs, are a minority in this case since our dress standards are not usually shared by society at large.

That being said, the problem caused by (what we consider) the woman's inappropriate sartorial choices could be easily addressed had the restaurant had a dress code policy.

I think that there are circumstances where it is ok (and even desirable) to establish limits. Nevertheless, the woman is right to feel disrespected when she became the target of actions that infringed upon her right to freely express herself (aka dress as she wants) in the absence of a dress code policy. However, from the minute the dress code becomes established and enforced, this is no longer a contention.

My personal takeaway from this situation is: let's not be afraid of setting limits on our lives, as long as we don't criticize other people's choices based on our values and taste.

Thank you, again, for opening up this escape for participation.

Erica said...

The first instance reminds me of something I experienced a few years ago. I do not have and have never had a Facebook account, for many reasons. I mainly feel like I don't have a need for it in my life and would likely waste a lot of time on it. On this occasion, however, I met an acquaintance whom I hadn't seen in a few years and she said she had recently seen a picture of me on Facebook, which apparently must have been posted by another acquaintance of ours. I found this very disturbing. How many more pictures of me are on Facebook that I don't even know about??! To me, it seems a serious lack of respect for people's privacy. I agree with you completely Jennifer... don't post photos of others without their permission first.

Pj said...

I find the evidence regarding wearing regular clothes instead of pajamas having a positive, healing affect on patients very interesting and heartening. In my experience even children are positively affected by presentable clothing choices. When I curled my four year old granddaughter's hair one day, she ran to her room and put on a beautiful pink, dressy dress! She knew that those beautiful curls needed a compatible outfit. :) Little boys also stand a bit taller and are quite gentlemanly when they are dressed up. My 21 year old granddaughter told me last week that there is a trend is to dress more nicely these days. I wonder how much you have influenced that, Jennifer? :)

I agree that it would have been better if the manager of the Golden Corral had a dress code he could have mentioned, but I also agree that he had a right to not serve someone he felt was dressed inappropriately~remember the "No shirt, no shoes, no service" signs that used to be posted at the door outside restaurants? I noticed that the woman said she never wanted to wear that top again, which is one good outcome from the fiasco!

The untimely and non sanctioned Facebook post of the bride in her dress showed an obvious lack of training and courtesy on the bridesmaid's part. The bride most definitely was not wrong in being very disappointed. One would probably not feel the need to instruct one's bridesmaids on what to do or not regarding posting pictures on social media, but evidently there is that need.

I wonder if the school principal's dress code is being upheld? I hope so!

We can all do our part to set the example of what we believe to be true regarding dress and privacy with postings and such!

These were interesting articles and observations, Jennifer. Thank you!

The Daily Connoisseur said...

Hello ladies, Thank you for commenting and weighing in on these interesting articles. I'm encouraged by your interest and there will be a part two to this video! Stay tuned :)

Jennifer xx

Eileen said...

I found this article interesting:

Anonymous said...

More of the same: https://www.businessinsider.com/american-airlines-tisha-rowe-dress-code-denied-boarding-2019-7


SH said...

I was really stuck by the OK Corral story. While I agree that the mom was dressed very inappropriately, the actions of the restaurant were just too unkind. I would be extremely humiliated to be asked to leave a restaurant because of the way I look, and having it happen in front of my husband and son would make it more traumatizing still. We don't know the mom's situation. Could it be that she doesn't have a lot of clothes and that she was busy so that outfit was the best she could do? Probably not, but we don't know. If I was the restaurant manager, I would never humiliate someone that way, it is just too unkind. But that being said, I would immediately institute a dress code and post on the website and at the front door! I am generally disappointed by what many people wear these days. And I do think what people wear matters, but love and kindness matter more.